Tracing Death
by Lazruth
Summary: I never really expected much of myself. I never thought I'd one day find myself stranded in a world far from my own. Or that I would be able to reap lives like some dark angel. Not once did I even consider pledging myself to a divine being and slipping into the world of wetwork. But that's the cards I've been dealt. That's my life now. The dagger of a Yama, whether I like it or not
1. The Illusion of Choice

**Ok, wow, new story. I'll be honest with you all, I've actually had this story planned for awhile. But constant new ideas, low confidence in my ability to do it well, and general laziness kept it from being written until now. But regardless of all that, it's here now. Here's hoping you all enjoy it.**

**Before we begin though, I'd like to give a BIG "Thank you" to Moondelta for helping me out with this story. Seriously, without her this story may have never gotten off the ground.**

You ever have one of those days? You know, where random things just happen to you, be they good or bad, and you have no idea what's going on or what'll happen next? Usually, I welcome those days, if only because they break up the monotony that is my life. Now though... eh, not so much.

For some reason that even now still eludes me, I'm sitting on my butt in what appears to be a courtroom. Only, there's no doors, no jury bench, nothing except where the judge sits, and some kind of podium a few feet in front of said judge's chair. As it is, I'm sitting up against the front of the podium, watching two girls in a heated discussion, over me apparently. Now that may sound all fine and dandy to some of you, but it's really not. The one with green hair (yeah, green. The hell?) looks absolutely livid over my being... wherever the hell 'here' is apparently, since she keeps pointing at me when she starts going again. The second girl, one in the really out of place purple dress with blonde hair, seems to keep saying things that only serve to get the first girl even _more_ angry. Add in the headache from my landing, and you can see why I'm not too happy.

Then there's all these weird things I'm seeing all over the place. What the hell, man?

I mean, seriously. All I was doing before now was just sitting in my room, watching a pirated copy of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World and pigging out on pizza rolls and a two liter of cream soda. Hey, I'm a slacker who just got fired from his part time job at a pizza place, lay off. So there I was watching Scott go against the second of the exes, when the next thing I know I appear to be sinking in my seat really fast. Before I can even really register that, my chin hits my desk, knocking me backwards. You can imagine my surprise when through the spinning stars I make out some kind of hole in the floor, held at the end with a ribbon of all things, and inside the hole appear to be... eyes? What the hell, what is this, something out of the freaking Twilight Zone?

Before I can finish up my freaking out over the eyes I go through the hole, and end up in the air. Like, "with the clouds" in the air. The blow to the chin must have rattled my poor brain, because it took me a few seconds to even realize that fact. People may have had dreams before about flying in the sky like Superman. Me, my first thought was a calm, collected wondering of what was going on.

"What the flame-farting hell? !"

...Ok, not _that_ calm and collected.

Then gravity decided to take mercy on me, and bring me down to earth. Which was just fine by me. I wasn't worried about landing or anything. I mean, whatever it was that _brought_ me here and put me in the sky would have _some_ way of letting me land safely, right? I just wanted out of the air. So I just let myself fall. Until I noticed that I kept on picking up speed, and that ground appeared to be getting closer and closer with nothing to keep me from hitting it. And it stayed like that, until I met with said ground. At least, I _think_ I met with it. I kind of closed my eyes at the last minute, felt a thud, and then woke up here with a headache.

"-pletely irresponsible, Yakumo! I've overlooked most of what you've done up until now, but this-!"

"Oh, don't worry. There are plenty of dangerous people in Gensoukyou, and it hasn't blown up yet. Why should this boy be any different?"

"I'm not quite sure Yakumo, though it could be _what_ it was that you _gave him_! You think _that_ could be it? !"

Great, and to top it all off, they're talking in some language I can't understand. Can this day get any better? On second thought, I shouldn't ask that. Movies have taught me what happens when things like that are asked.

"Oh, come now dear, no need to be all sarcastic. It's not that bad, which is why I was planning on just letting him run around, see what he does. Just a harmless little experiment."

***WHAM!***

…! Jesus, what the hell? ! The green angry just cold-cocked the one in the purple dress! With a backhand, even! I have no idea what she said, but it appears to have massively pissed off Greeny! …Er, maybe I shouldn't call her that, even in my mind. It's more than likely a bad idea, with Purple-Dress Lady pulling herself out of a wall with difficulty being my proof.

"Ugh... my my, Yama-sama, letting your temper get the better of you like that. And you're supposed to be the calm judge of souls. Look, you're frightening our guest." Not quite sure, but it looks like PLD is taunting the green-haired one. Why else would she be smiling after getting wacked like that? Is that really smart? I mean, she DID just knock PDL through _a wall_. On that note, how the hell is she still alive, let alone awake and walking?

"Don't you DARE try to act that way with ME, Yakumo Yukari. Do you know or even _care_ about the threat this boy poses thanks to your damn meddling?"

"Cursing now? Not very ladylike, Yama-sama..."

"Last warning, Yakumo, do NOT toy with me!" The small girl hisses

Wait, now I'm curious. Did the purple-dress chick say 'sama'? Isn't that a Japanese honorific? Well, that explains what language they're speaking. And Gre- er, the green-haired girl called the purple-dress chick 'Yukari.' So, I at least know her name. And the first one was called 'Yama-sama'. If I remember my honorifics right (thank you manga!) then she must be pretty import-

… Wait a minute. 'Yama'? Isn't that supposed to be a judge of hell or something? Oh, son of a...

***THWACK!***

"And you! Pay attention, don't think you're getting out of this! You're just as much a part of this problem as she is, do you understand me?"

Sorry, greeny, can't hear you over the sound of my broken skull from your damn little tablet thingy smashing it. Not like I can understand you anyways. Cripes, can I get subtitles here? Or at least someone that speaks freaking English? Ohh, wait, how about my cell phone ringing, waking me up and letting me discover this was all a dream? Yeah, I'd like to go with option three.

***THWACK*** AGAIN WITH THE HITTING AND THE TABLET AND THE OW.

"Pay attention!" she yells at me again.

"Speak English, dammit! If you're going to yell at me at least do it in a language I understand!" I snap back. Even if she IS some Hell Judge, I'm not going to take this shit while I can't understand her!

Taking a few seconds to calm down, I finally take a good look at the short girl. Green hair with a ponytail on the side of her head, under some strange looking hat with frills at the bottom and a gold tablet one the front, with a white and red ribbon on the left and right side respectively. A blue vest-like shirt with gold emblems on the shoulder over a long sleeved white shirt, with a white ribbon tied halfway down on the left sleeve with a red ribbon on the right side the same distance down. and her belt was white on the left and red on the white.

Wonder if there's a message there...

Going on, next was a black miniskirt which was threaded at the bottom with a ribbon. Again, white on the left and red on the right that come together at the front of the skirt to be tied into a bow. Further down were short frilly socks and black shoes which where tied with a ribbon again. Red facing the inside, white facing the outside. Yeah, definite message there. And let's not forget the gold tablet thing in her hand that was just so very intimate with my skull just now. Can't forget that if I tried, though I'm sure if she hit me one more time...

Greeny stares at me for a few seconds before turning to the chick in purple. Who I've just _now_ noticed is blonde, wearing some strange hat an carrying a purple umbrella. Maybe it was the raps to the head, but I'm not too sure. I'm broken from my thoughts when Greeny starts talking again. "You didn't give him the ability to speak our language? And you were just going to let him wander about Gensoukyou like that? Yakumo, you surprise me with your carelessness."

"Oh my, I was just about to, but then you decided to whisk us away to your courtroom. You haven't even offered us tea. Taking people away without warning, not providing for your guests... so very rude." the blonde retorts. Seriously, could someone PLEASE translate here?

"_You're the last person to get on me about manners!_" Oh jeez, Greeny's yelling again. Somehow I don't think I like this Yukari chick all that much. She seems to be getting off on pissing people off. I'm not the best on social behavior, but even I know not to- why is Greeny pointing her tablet at me? Why is it moving closer, what is she going to OH GOD IT'S ENTERING MY FACE SHE'S KILLING-!

_Snap!_

_..._What the hell? The tablet is gone. Frantically my hands fly to my face, feeling for a wound or a bruise or something. There's nothing, nothing but flesh and sweat. A discreet look at my pants assures me that I miraculously didn't piss myself from the fear of having that thing enter my face. How the hell did that happen anyways? Why'd she do it, and why isn't there a trace of it?

"Can you understand me now?"

Blinking, I look up at Greeny again, holding her rod in one hand while the top rests in the palm of the other, a neutral look on her face. No blood on the tablet, but the surprise came in the form of me actually understanding the words she said. The hell? Realizing she's waiting for an answer, I nod quickly. No point in her stabbing my face again.

"Good, then you can answer some questions. First, your name?"

"Yeah, sure, not like it's good manners to give your name first." I grumble irritably. Speaking a little louder, I told her my name. "Jay. My turn for a questions. Who are you, who's she, where are we, and why the HELL am I even here to begin with? And what's with all these weird things I'm seeing?"

Yeah, guess I should have mentioned that earlier, but I was little more preoccupied with being utterly confused. Everywhere I look are these strange lines, like someone took a marker and just drew them at random. the lines aren't that thick, but they're enough to be noticeable. And just looking at them is enough to make my head hurt more. There's even some there on these two girls, though they're clearer on the chick in purple, and even then I have to focus really hard, they're so faint. Hell, if I look at her arm, I can't see the lines at all when she moves said arm.

The green-haired chick narrows her eyes, a frown now forming on her face. "Hm, at least you asked _some_ of the right questions." she utters, starting to tap the tablet into her palm lightly. "In order, I am Shikieiki Yamaxanadu, and-"

"That's a long-ass name," I quip, only to flinch when she levels the tablet at my face again.

"Don't interrupt." She scolds me before resuming tapping the tablet in her and. "Also, if you must know, Yamaxanadu isn't part of my name. It's my title as the judge of the dead here in Gensoukyou. My name is actually Shiki Eiki. You DO know how Japanese names work, don't you?" After my nod, she continued. "Over _there_ is the person responsible for your being transported here, Yakumo Yukari."

"To be fair," The lady known as Yukari calls out. "I transported you to a meadow. _She_ transported us here to her courtroom. You remember the meadow, right~?"

"Wait, so you were responsible for my little sudden flight lesson? ! What the hell, what if I broke my neck from the fall? !" I shout at her. Only, I get more irritated when she pulls out a fan, of all things, hiding her mouth behind it while she giggles.

"Silly, there's no way that I would have let that happen." At that, my anger dissipates somewhat. "It's why I chose a meadow with such soft grass to cushion your fall." Well, hello again Anger, back again so soon?

"Moving on," Shikieki speaks up over the two of us. "As to why you're here, Yukari wanted to try a little 'experiment'. So she grabbed a random human- you- and brought you here. This experiment also has something to do with your eyes." Oh, why do I have the feeling that this isn't that good? "Tell me something though. These lines... can you see them on Yakumo and I?"

Blinking in confusion for a second, I answer. "Well, kinda. But they're really blurry and all. Even more so on you than her." Where is she going with this?

"Hmm, good. They're still somewhat weak." Shikieiki murmurs to herself, now tapping her tablet against her bottom lip with a thoughtful expression on her face. It's actually kind of cute on her. Probably shouldn't tell her that though. "I'll be honest with you Jay, those lines aren't good. What those lines are... they're death."

... Wait, what? Apparently taking my shock-induced silence as a sign to go on, Shikieiki does.

"To be more precise, what you're seeing is the 'lines upon which all things die easily'. If you put something into those lines and trace them, the object will fall apart. I'll give you the nuances about the eyes later. Moving on..."

Whoa whoa whoa whoa, what the blueberry fuck muffins is this shit? "'Lines of death'? What kind of jacked-up crap are you talking about, there's no way that those lines equal death! I mean, how can I kill a wall by tracing a line? It doesn't make any sense! And why can I see them so clearly on the walls and podium and even Blondie's umbrella and not on you two?" I question, ignoring said blonde's little pout she had at my words.

Shikieki sighed before focusing on me again. "To be precise, _all_ things experience death. For example, when you break a boulder, it's no longer a 'boulder'. It becomes 'rocks'. Do you follow me?" At my hesitant confirmation she goes on. "Not everything can be traced easily, if at all though. Let's use Yakumo and myself for this. In order to trace our 'lines' you must first be able to comprehend us. Rather, you can't see my lines clearly because you can't comprehend not only my existence as a judge of the dead but you can't even comprehend my power as well. Do not mistake of thinking that 'knowing' what or who I am as 'comprehending' what and who I am. That is the first weakness of your eyes by the way. Keep that in mind.

As you learn and comprehend different existences, ideas, and even more things, the lines on those things will become more clear. Just be warned that what your view is on a particular thing, say immortality, does NOT mean that you truly comprehend things. As a mortal, you are not infallible, which means that your thoughts on things are not always right. Remember that."

Ok, when she puts it like that, I can understand just a bit better. Still, seeing these lines are a major problem for me. I mean, being able to potentially kill most, if not everything? Not my idea of fun, no way ma'am. It seems that she's not quite done yet though, so I push my thoughts to the back of my mind to go over later, and give my attention back to the judge of the dead.

"Also, these lines... since they are, for all intents and purposes, an object's 'fated destruction', there is no real protection. Armor, magic, barriers... None of these will stop you from 'killing' an object or person. But there are downsides to this. You've been having headaches since you woke up, haven't you?" She doesn't even wait for my nod. "That's from your brain straining to see death. The mortal mind is not meant to understand, or even _see_ death, especially all the time. But as long as you don't strain yourself too much, like trying to see the lines of an object or person you can't comprehend, the strain will be minimal. Push it too far, and your brain will explode from the strain."

I _love _it when my bad feelings are right. So basically, I run the risk of my brain going 'POP' if I try to look at something I'm not ready to see yet? Great, and I thought seeing death was the worst news I would get today. Man, I figured that if I ever got a power it'd be heat vision or super speed. Heck, I'd even take a rubber body over this! ... On second thought, I'll pass on that last one. That damn manga ruined that power for me forever.

"Are you listening to me?" I turn back to Shikieiki who looks a little miffed at my going into private thoughts.

"No, because it's just _really_ smart to ignore the chick that's telling me I've just become a damn grim reaper. Lord knows it's not the stupidest thing I've ever thought of doing!" It's actually right behind sliding down a mountain pass on a garbage can lid. _Man_ I was drunk...

"There's no reason to get smart with me, young man." Shikieiki scolds me. Wait, young man? This girl looks younger than me, how the hell does she get off calling me young- oh wait, judge of the dead. Right. It makes sense now. "Now, I'll go over the rest of the information about your eyes later, or at least get you some notes on it. First, you must make a choice."

Well, hello Mr. Bad Feeling! What's that, you want a second round? Well, why not, it can't make things any worse, right?

"How badly do you want to live?" ... Ok, you know what? It was funny at first, but seriously Mr. Bad Feeling, you need to cut this shit out. "You have two choices. The first is that I kill you, right here and now."

"Wait, hold on. Why the FUCK- ow! Hey, watch it! Don't hit me with that thing!" I snap, rubbing the spot on my stomach where she poked me with that tablet. Cripes, it's like getting kicked by horse, it hurts that much!

"Watch your mouth when you're speaking to me, or I'll make your choice for you right here and now." Shikieiki warns me in a cold voice. Gulping, I nod in the affirmative, still holding my stomach. Picking my words a bit more carefully in my mind, I try again.

"Ok, why would you need to kill me? I mean, couldn't you just take these lines seeing ability thing and just be done with it?"

"I'm not allowed to take away abilities. A Yama I may be, but I cannot simply take away something like that. All mortals have the capability to awaken this part, some more than others. But few ever wake up this ability. Very _specific_ conditions have to be met, the first of which is dying and then coming back to life while being fully _aware_ of your death and what it entailed. You experienced this once, did you not?"

I nod slowly. Like I said. I was really drunk. Apparently I died for a few seconds before I was revived by one of my buddies performing CPR. I really don't want to go through that experience ever again.

Shikieiki nods, continuing to talk. "Furthermore, you have to have a certain potential in your eyes to see the lines. Everyone may have the ability in their mind, but the eyes _and_ mind have to be able to work together in seeing the lines. It's a little difficult to explain. Just leave it that you're one of the unlucky few."

Amen Sister. "That still doesn't explain the whole 'killing me' thing, though." I point out.

Shikieiki turns from me and starts walking to the judges seat. "This world, Gensoukyou, is a world separated from the outside world. Here, all manner of beings coexist. Humans, Youkai, vampires, even mortal-bodied gods. You're ability to kill all things, as it grows more powerful, could even cut away the barrier that this world separate from the Outside world, or even destroy the world itself. Sage and Guardian of Gensoukyou Yakumo here might be, I cannot condone her foolish decision to let you wander about unwatched. And I cannot trust even the Watcher of the Barrier, the Hakurei Miko, to watch over such a dangerous power. No, I cannot trust any being who is swayed so easily by emotions and the greed for such power to be held by just any mortal, youkai or god. Which leads me to present option two to you."

Jesus, when she puts it like that... But is this power really that great? I mean, what if I just refuse to trace the lines? Couldn't I live if I promised that? I pose that question to the judge, who's now sitting in her chair. Her shaking her head makes my heart drop.

"That is another unfortunate side effect of the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception." Oh, so _that's_ what they're called. Wow, what a jolly name! "Since the human mind isn't meant to see death, doing so could cause you to lose your sanity. At which point, you could either gouge out your eyes, kill yourself, or become an insane murderer who could kill all things."

Fun, great, and fan-freaking-tastic. This day gets better and better. Bowing my head, I motion for her to continue.

"The second choice is this. You become my servant. My... personal problem solver." Oh that does NOT sound like what I think it sounds like. "To be blunt, sometimes a problem arises in which I can't really let the Hakurei Miko or anyone else take care of. However, as the Judge of the Dead, I'm forbidden to take action myself. So you'd take various jobs up when I order you to. From delivering a message, to full-out assassinations."

I... can't even form a sarcastic comment at this point. Those are my choices? Become a errand boy slash hit-man or become a corpse? Sure, dying's bad, but me killing someone...? I can't even fathom that. I mean, I'm a wimp. Spent most my life getting teased and bullied. I have no fighting experience, I weigh about a hundred-twenty pounds sopping wet with my clothes on, and this chick wants me to become a killer? So I'm basically given a 'kill or be killed' dilemma?

Not an easy choice.

Can I really do it?

Could I kill someone?

I don't know. But I do know...

I don't want to die.

And so, I speak up. "I'll... take the second choice." On the bright side, I probably won't get called in to kill anyone for awhile, right? I mean, how often would something like that come up? Still, I should probably tell her... "Just, I don't know how to fight. Is that ok?"

Shikieiki waves her hand. "There are plenty of people in Gensoukyou who can help you there. At the very least, though, I should do something about your eyes. I can't take them away, but-"

***TWHOOSH THUNK***

The next thing I know, there's something in my eyes. I'm not quite sure what they were, but before they hit me I managed to see that they looked like her tablets. That's the furthest thing from my mind right now though. Right now, the thing I'm worried about is...

"Auuugghh! Ah, rrrrggghh ow! Guh, what the hell did you do?" I cry out, rolling around on the floor clutching my eyes. As you can tell, _that's _what I was more concerned about: the burning pain in my eyes. Yeah, it freaking hurts. A LOT. I didn't even notice that whatever she had thrown into my eyes had sunk into them, disappearing.

"I can, however, alter them a little." Shikieiki finishes up. After a few more more agonizing seconds, the pain finally cleared enough for me to slowly stand up. Blinking away the tears that had formed, I noticed that the lines had vanished. But, I thought that she couldn't- "They haven't been taken away. I've simply given you the ability to turn them on and off, that's all. Sadly, that's still not good enough to let you go by yourself." Huh, get one question answered, get a second one free. Not a bad deal, I must say.

"Well now, that's pretty nifty." Yukari spoke up, making me jump. I had forgotten that she was even here! Cripes, hope she's not a ninja or something. "I may have to hire you for a job sometime."

"Yakumo Yukari." Uh-oh, something bad is about to happen. The room just got ice cold, and it feels like something is trying to crush me. Thank you manga, for helping me know what killing intent is, but it does nothing for preparing one for it. Still, I can't help but notice that it's not like I imagined, and that I'm not getting the full thing. Yukari, on the other hand, is on her hands and knees, and she's gone pale. "Do not _dare_ try and do such a thing. Should you do so, know that your very existence will be forfeit by my hands. I will show no forgiveness. Do I make myself clear?" With that, the pressure was gone, and I made another mental note not to piss off my new boss.

Yukari stands up, albeit shakily, before simply waving her hand. And... creates some kind of hole in the air. An oddly familiar hole. One tied at the ends with ribbons, and full of eyes...

...

...

...!

OH YOU LOUSY-!

Before I can finish my thought, she steps through the hole and is gone, the strange eye-hole closing after her. I have no idea what the hell that was, but I'm now almost entirely sure that I don't like that woman. At all. And I plan on keeping it that way for a good long time. Mentally shaking my head, I urn back to the green-haired girl in the judge's seat. "So what now, boss?"

"First off, Shikieiki-sama, Yama-sama, or Shiki-sama. Call me one of those things." Ok, check. "Secondly, I'll send you to the home of someone in the human village who can help you settle in for now. As it is, I'm going to wait until you can find someone to help you learn to fight before I contact you again. I highly recommend finding someone to introduce you to the Hakurei miko as soon as you can, though. She will explain exactly how things work here in Gensoukyou. Any questions?"

I think for a minute before coming up with something. "Yeah, what if I need to get hold of you? How do I do that?"

Shikieiki nods at me, apparently happy that I asked that question or something, I don't know. "Find my subordinate, Onozuka Komachi. She'll help get a message to me. Just a bit of a warning, you may have to kick her awake. Tell her you have my permission. Girl needs to learn to quit lazing around on the job." she tells me, muttering the last part under her breath. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that Shiki-sama's not happy with a lazy worker. Food for thought, methinks.

"Now then, since we're done, I'll send you on your way. I have a lot of work to do, and because of this I'm behind."

I snap off a salute, a smirk on my face. "Aye, aye, boss!"

***THWACK***

Okay, teasing my boss... not smart. Also, she's got really good aim with that tablet of hers. She nailed me right between the eyes. All of this flashes through my head as I fall backwards, going though some black hole in space, and then I'm falling. The last thing I see before hitting the ground and everything fading away is a figure with purple hair and a red skirt.

**So there we go, chapter one. Don't worry, I've already got plenty in store to keep him from being over-powered. That was actually one of the main problems, was keeping him from becoming so. Also, before anyone asks, I'm going to go ahead and make this a multi-pairing fic, though nothing on the level of Keys to the Heart by Wrathkal (damn good story, by the way.) The girls have already been chosen, numbering three in total. MAYBE four, if Moondelta can talk me into it.**

**But enough about that. Who wants to guess who the person at the end of this story is?**


	2. Learning the Rules

**So, chapter 2. Well, to be honest, I'm surprised that this story was as liked as it was with just one chapter. On that note, I am utterly disappointed in a lot of the newer fics coming out, and not just the Touhou ones. Stories are weak, or there's tons of spelling errors, or there's so many people talking in one damn sentence! Granted, there ARE a few gems that just need a little polishing, but for the most part... well, it's part of the reason I am writing. To try and get something just a little better out there for people to read.**

**But first, let me just take care of a few things. First off, congrats to SorrowfulReincarnation for guessing the identity of the person at the end of the last chapter correctly! For those that don't read reviews, they'll be revealed down below. What, you thought I would spoil it here?**

**Also, to ColinatorGX... God fucking dammit, you REALLY had to go there. *Sigh* I should have seen that coming, and yet I didn't. I probably deserved that, but still!**

**By the way, I notice that lately, all but one of the GOOD Touhou fics with a male OC lead have a bit of insanity inside them. Touhou Chronicle's Shinki, Average Joe in Bullet Hell's Ryan, and Keys to the Heart's Ikuto all have varying types of insanity. Odd. Anyways, next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Touhou, like everyone else here. If I did, you can bet your ass that I'd have put Mima in Touhou 13 as a playable character. We all wanted to, but you had to go and fumble the ball on that ZUN. And when are we going to see Flandre in a game again, dammit?**

Power on.

***Thwish***

Power off.

***Thwish***

Power on.

***Thwish***

Power off.

***Thwish***

Pow-

"Oh for heaven's sake, are you doing that **again**?" A voice calls out behind me. Blinking, I turn away from the mirror in front of me where I was activating and de-activating my eyes over and over again to look at the owner of the voice. A head of purple hair, a green vest with yellow sleeves that are decorated with flowers of some sort, a red skirt, and a flower ornament in her hair reveal the owner of the voice to be Hieda no Akyuu, a historian of some sort and my (for the time being) host.

Apparently, Shikieiki... sama, thought that Akyuu would be the ideal person to watch out for me. And so far, I have no reason to disagree. The girl appears to be thirteen, fourteen years old, but is far more mature, almost like a mother. She said something about it being a result of "linked reincarnations", or some such thing. I dunno, I was more focused on the fact that she had a crap ton of books in her house. Well, I say books, but I mean scrolls. I would have read them, but it looks like that while I can understand what people are saying to me, and vice-versa, I can't read a damn thing of their language. And with Akyuu busy a lot of the time recording history and such, and me without internet or gameboy or anything... yeah, I was close to going stark raving mad. Until I discovered that I had my MP3 in my pocket. Then I found out that the battery was pretty much dead.

So, that was my first day here in Gensoukyou. It freaking sucked.

Thankfully, I got a bit happier on day two. My new boss dropped in with a bunch of papers and dropped them off in my room, thankfully all in english, all of them containing information about my new eyes and other's who've had them. Stupid me, however, forgot to ask her if she could do anything about my inability to read any of this world's words before she left. A small thing, sure, but DAMMIT I'M BORED! And since Akyuu can't read any of this stuff to help me out, it's going to be harder for me. Sure, I like 'reading' for long hours, but 'learning' for hours? Without getting around and moving about? For-fucking-get it.

Which leads me to the present time, about a week later. I'm wearing some kind of clothes that Akyuu had in a trunk somewhere. Something about a 'past life', so I'm guessing they belonged to a deceased relative. Or maybe a youkai friend of hers, she said that they rebirth themselves when they die or something. I dunno, I don't really care right now, I'm more concerned with the fact that this kosode and hakama stuff is freaking uncomfortable! Wait, why is she staring at me? Oh yeah, she asked me a question.

"Sorry about that," I finally respond, moving a hand through my hair. "Just checking something out. I'm the only person with these eyes that've been able to turn them on and off. So, I wanted to know how fast I can turn them on and off. Takes about a second, from what I can tell." I move to sit down at the small table in the room, sitting down somewhat awkwardly on the cushion that serves as a seat. And yes, it's just as uncomfortable as it sounds. "On the plus side, I've managed to go through all the notes, and I've figured out just how fu- um, in trouble I am." I continue, catching myself partway. Hey, I may have a bit of a mouth, but I at least try to watch it in front of kids. Thankfully, Akyuu doesn't notice, or she doesn't care.

"Oh?" She asks, sitting herself down on the other side of the table in front of me. "Then would you mind telling me about it? My hands are a bit tired at the moment, and I'm quite interested in the abilities of these... what did you call them? Mystic Eyes of Death Perception?"

I nod, thinking on where to begin. After a minute, I figure out what to say. "Well, first off, these lines aren't the limit. Apparently, there's something else I'll be able to see later on. Dots, of some sort. According to the notes, these are called 'Points of Existence'. Those can't be cut, only stabbed. When stabbed, the... oh how did the notes put it? 'The entirety of one's existence begins to unravel, removing them from existence to the point that they are removed from even the circle of reincarnation and judgment upon death'. There's no way to reverse that, and dying is a side effect that happens %100 percent of the time."

"That sounds... most unpleasant." Akyuu mutters, looking somewhat uneasy. I nod in agreement.

"Gets worse. Apparently, the 'heavier' one's existence is, the longer it takes for it to 'unravel'. Not sure, but I think that means that the older something is, the longer it takes. What do you think?"

My companion thinks for a minute, then shakes her head. "Unlikely. It might be a PART of it, but perhaps it's referring to the victim's level of power? A human of fifty years would die quicker than a vampire of the same amount of time. At least, that's my opinion."

Huh, didn't think of that. It makes sense, a vampire has more power and such than a human. "But then, what about this Hakurei miku? I haven't met her, but from what you told me she was able to beat more than just vampires."

"If you killed the Hakurei miko, we'd ALL be dead." Akyuu deadpans. "The only question is which inhabitant of this land would kill you first." ...Note to self, avoid killing the Hakurei miko. Apparently, she's popular enough to have the entire land tearing the land up for her murderer, if she were to have one. "That said, killing Reimu would be nigh impossible. She has plenty of youkai visiting her shrine, and the very moment you tried anything like that, they'd be on you. And if you somehow managed to survive THAT, you'd still have to fight Reimu."

"She's that strong?" I ask, curious.

"The only one that's ever beaten her is an oni, who now resides at her shrine."

That sounds... most unpleasant. Shaking my head, I continue on.

"Well, then it gets a bit weird. You remember how I told you that I have to understand the concept of something in order to kill it?" She nods." Well, apparently, there's no limits. Only recorded highs."

Akyuu tilts her head in confusion. "What do you mean, 'recorded highs'?"

"Well, for example, this one guy was able to attack the lines of his world's highest class of vampire, called a 'True Ancestor' or something. A being who's power was pretty much linked to the world itself. the only thing he wasn't able to kill was a being that was made out of rumors. Then there was a chick who COULD have killed that being, and could also kill and unravel the existence of ghosts and other things. So, the way I see it, person one could kill the things that had a physical form, while the second person could kill the physical AND the metaphysical. Looking at it that way, she was stronger than the first guy."

Akyuu nods, grabbing her chin with her forefinger and thumb while she does so. "So, does that mean that was the limit of these eyes? Killing ghosts and spirits?"

I shake my head. This is where the power of these eyes gets really scary. "Not even close. The highest limit so far belongs to this one old man. Apparently, his eyes were so developed that he could kill a sentence in a throat, or a thought in your mind. Hell, he could kill an emotion in someone as well, or the memories of a person. I mean, had this guy not died, I'm pretty sure he could have gone even higher with these eyes. There's even a note here from him saying that it was 'only a matter of time before possibilities and impossibilities would fall beneath the gaze of his eyes.'"

Akyuu's eyes widen as she suddenly pales. "But... that's impossible! To do such a thing would be beyond the power of a god itself!"

"Which, by the way, is not beyond the power of the Mystic Eyes." I speak up. "On the plus side, there do seem to be a few things these eyes are good for. The first guy was able to kill a vampire's blood inside of him before it could change him, and then later on he was able to kill poison's in a person's body. So that's something, at least. Next comes the bad news."

The purple-haired girl just looks at me. "How was any of the previous information GOOD news?" she asks, her gaze on me heavy, as if to say 'What are you, an idiot?'

"Well, beyond being able to let me see how to kill things... the eyes do nothing." Ah, THERE'S a reaction, a blink of surprise from her! "Yeah, I have to trace the lines or pierce the point of an object with my own hands. If I can't catch something, I can't kill it. So anything faster than me, or can keep me from reaching them, I can't kill. So unless I can get really fast or catch them by surprise, chances are I can't do anything to them. Then it gets better."

I stand up and begin to pace, trying to bring up all the information that I went over. "While there's no way to save yourself if your point is pierced, there IS a way to heal a limb that has been cut off by having the line traced. Through regular means, it's impossible to heal, and the victim would just bleed to death. However, if you're able to rewrite the concept of your existence, you're able to heal the limb. That first guy I told you about? The vampire that he killed did that after he cut her to pieces. Mind you, it severely weakened her, but it can be done.

Now, when I say 'trace a line' or 'pierce a dot', there's certain restrictions. First off, I have to get something into that line or dot a certain depth. If it's too shallow, I'd do nothing. Also, for a line, I have to trace that ENTIRE line, from start to finish. I can't enter it in the middle and just cut through in one direction of it. It has to be the whole line. Although, if I were to trace the line on say, a tree, I wouldn't have to go around the entire tree. It's only from a 2D perspective."

"Like tracing a line on a bit of parchment." Akyuu puts in, catching on. "I see, that makes it somewhat easier. And aside from all the headaches and other downsides that you've told me before, are these all the limits?"

I shake my head. "Naturally, yes. Thing is, Shikieiki... sama- man, I'm going to have to get used to saying that- put on some 'extra' limits. Unless she gives the go ahead, or it's a life or death situation, I'm unable to trace the lines or pierce the dots of any living thing. So, no cutting up pigs and such, but buildings and trees and all that are clear for dismemberment!"

"Could you please not say it like that?'

"Er, right. Sorry. Uh, let's see... oh, I say I'm unable to trace or stab a living thing, but it's more like I can with no effect. I mean, they'd still bleed and all as if I'd cut them regularly, but they wouldn't die, bar massive blood loss or fatal wound. Also, apparently this also carries over to spell card battles, whatever the hell those are, though from what Shikieiki-sama told me there wouldn't be any blood at all. Just pain."

Akyuu nods again, then blinks and looks at me in confusion. "Wait, if Yama-sama could do that before, why not do that from the start instead of giving you that choice? It doesn't make any sense." Yeah, I went ahead and told Akyuu everything. I figured that if I was going to be getting her help, I'd have to. Though I'm going to try and avoid telling as many people as I can.

"I asked her the same thing. From what she told me, she could only do that if I was serving her, so as to have it qualify as 'aiding one who served her so that they can do their jobs with more caution' or some such crap. I just put it as 'because she said so' and leave it at that. Let's not argue with the person who's so generously going to let me live so long as I'm useful, eh?"

"I can agree with that." Akyuu giggles slightly. "So, is there anything you don't understand?"

"Just one." I say. "What the hell is a spell card battle?"

* * *

"And what the hell am I doing up here?" I grumble to myself. Akyuu had led me to the base of some staircase and told me that the person who could explain Spell cards to me was up there. I thought she'd be going with me, but she explained that she had had a long enough break and needed to get back to work. Understandable, I guess, but still. I would have liked SOMEONE to talk to one the way up these stairs. They go on forever.

I sigh and decide that perhaps I should start focusing more on walking. Akyuu, while know a small bit about the Spell Card battles, doesn't participate in them. The only thing she could really tell me about them is that they're used to resolve conflicts in a way that keep both parties from dying. I was a little confused at that. I mean, youkai are supposed to be this powerful, fight crazy race, right? Why would they want a restriction like that? Guess that's another thing to chalk up on the list of things I probably won't ever get.

Ten or fifteen minutes later, I'm finally at the top of the stairs, standing under a red gateway of sorts. A small shrine sits in front of me, a distance back. Small, a little rundown. Not too impressive. What is impressive is the fact that I feel... I dunno, _relaxed_ here. Like someone just gave me a full-body massage treatment. I haven't had one, but I HAVE had it described to be as being a feeling beyond words. Kind of the same thing here, the feeling is beyond words. Except here I didn't have some stranger rubbing my body all over.

The main thing that catches my eye though is the girl sitting on the front porch of the shrine. A red and white dress with detached white sleeves, a red ribbon in black hair, and a cup in her hands. According to Akyuu, this must be...

"Hakurei Reimu, right?" I call out. The girl lifts up her head, looking somewhat annoyed. The minute she sees me though, her face goes through a bunch of looks. From surprise to excitement to... well, poorly disguised excitement. Jesus, I was told she had a lot of people visiting, why the hell did she look so damn happy to see _me_? I'm a nobody. Ok, a nobody to her, but my point still stands!

"Oh _finally_, a human guest that _isn't_ Marisa or Sanae!" Well, that answers one question. So who are those people she mentioned? Meh, fuck it, I'll find out later if it's important. Reimu puts her cup to one side, standing and then bowing to me before quickly straightening up. "*Ahem!* Yes, I'm the Hakurei Miko, Reimu. Guardian of Gensoukyou and watcher of the Hakurei Barrier. May I help you?"

Cripes, look at that business smile. She's out of practice, I can tell it's faked. Best not draw attention to that fact and act normal. "Ah, yeah, actually. Um, see, I'm from what I was told was the outside world..." Whoa, look at that smile turn upside down! And so fast too! And is that eyebrow of her's twitching?

"Let me guess. Woman with blonde hair, purple dress? Held an umbrella in one hand and an irritating, condescending smile on her face?" At my puzzled nod, she slouches her shoulders, a heavy sigh passing over her lips. "What the hell, Yukari? Didn't you say you wouldn't do things like this anymore?"

I snort. "Maybe she had her fingers crossed behind her back? She doesn't strike me as someone who would just stop doing anything she wants to do."

Reimu raises another eyebrow at me. "You seem to have a handle on her personality. How many times have you met her?"

"Once. But it's kind hard to forget the chick that is not only responsible for you being abducted, but also for trying to drop you into a meadow from god knows how high up in the air. Add on the fact that's SHE'S the main reason I can't go home... Yeah, for the most part, I don't really like her." I retort. Man, just thinking about it irritates me all over again.

"That seems to be the understatement of the year," Reimu muses wryly. Then she pauses and looks at me strangely. "What do you mean you can't go home?"

I hesitate for a minute, thinking about how much I should tell her. I mean, she said she's the guardian of Gensoukyou, after all. And the barrier that Shikieiki-sama talked about earlier, I'm going to hazard a guess and say that's the same barrier Reimu was just talking about. I finally decide that it'd be best to tell only a half truth. After all, I'm not sure how this chick would take it. "Let's just say, she gave me a really dangerous power, and Shikieiki-sama can't really let fix it, and therefor she wants to keep a close eye on me."

"Shikieiki? The YAMA?" Reimu questions unbelievably. She whistles lowly. "Wow, you certainly got the short end of the stick." She suddenly looks at me suspiciously. "Wait, you're not here to lecture me, are you? Because I get enough of that already, and I've ignored it before. So I won't really listen to you."

"What? No, no no no no!" I exclaim, taking a step back and crossing my arms in an 'X' in front of me. "Akyuu-san sent me here to find out about Spell Card battles! She said it'd be a way to use my power safely here in Gensoukyou. But since she doesn't fight..."

"...She wouldn't be able to help you." Reimu finishes, looking a bit annoyed. "Great, not only do I find out Yukari's messing around again, but I have to teach an outsider during my break time!" She gives me a glare, half annoyed, half... hopeful? "You wouldn't happen to have any thing to donate, would you?"

Donations? I reach for the small bag in my pocket. Akyuu gave it to me before I left, telling me that this was to help 'sweeten the mood.' The way she said it... well, I've heard of weirder kinks in my world, let's just leave it at that. Though I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed to realize that she meant it was for donations. Hey, I'm a man, I can hope, right?

Apparently, however, it does 'sweeten the mood.' Or at least Reimu's, since her face lights up and she snatches the bag from me, happily counting the money inside. After a few seconds she nods, before turning and walking to the shrine. Guess that's my cue to follow her. I'm a bit confused though. Sure, this place isn't the best looking, but it doesn't look all that bad. When I ask Reimu about it, she tells me that she gets paid for doing her job of exterminating youkai, but donations mean faith in a shrine. It... kind of makes sense to me, I guess. I'm not exactly religious, so I don't know.

After setting the bag down on the porch, the miko asks me to describe my powers before we begin. I show her my eyes and give her a vague description, telling her about the lines but describing them as ways to 'destroy things easily.' She's pretty smart, I'll give her that, since she not only figures out that in order for this power to be dangerous I'd have to be able to see these lines on people too. Within a few minutes I'm finished, and Reimu is nodding her head thoughtfully.

"Alright, that'll do for now," She tells me, nodding thoughtfully. "Alright, guess I should explain the spell card battle system." Cripes, it sounds like I got dropped into an RPG or something, only there's no save points. Let's hope it doesn't suck as bad as the latest Final Fantays. "Now, the spellcard system is something I created to give youkai a chance to fight me without fear of Gensoukyou disappearing, and as a way for humans to fight youkai on somewhat equal terms."

"Somewhat equal?"

"Hush, I'm speaking. Weren't you taught not to interrupt a lady?" She gives a small smirk, ignoring my grumbling and continuing to speak. "Spell cards battles are fought with two things. Danmaku and, as you may have guessed, spell cards. Danmaku are bullets made out of one's own energy and fired in patterns. They can appear as simple balls, arrows or lasers. Those are the basic danmaku. though the more powerful people are able to create their own custom danmaku. Mine, for example, take the form of needles, yin-yang balls- don't laugh at me!" she interrupts my laughing by smacking me upside the head. "Anyways, they also take the form of paper charms."

"What other custom bullets are there?" I ask, still rubbing my head. Man, that smarts. Man, that's two girls that like to hit me. What the hell did I do in a past life to deserve this?

Reimu crosses her arms and tilts her head to one side, looking to be in thought. "Let's see, off the top of my head I've seen knives, hearts, stars, coins, and snakes." I shudder at that last one. I have a massive fear of snakes. just the site of one is enough to wig me out. And no, I don't scream. I just get really, really skittish. Jerks. Mentally shaking my head, I focus on Reimu again.

"Next up is spell cards. You can think of these as special moves. Normally, they follow a theme, and are like normal danmaku in that they are usually bullets that follow a pattern. Mind you, it's much larger and harder to dodge, but it's still the same thing."

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."

"What?"

"Nothing, outside world joke. Sorry about that, continue."

Reimu stares at me a second before doing so. "Not all spell cards are made of bullets though. Some are done as punches, or even charges. Sometimes even throwing dolls. I know one person that has a spell card in which she uses a boat to ram into people, and another person uses a cloud to form fists and try to punch people. So really, it can be anything and everything." At this, her eyes light up and she seems to remember something. "On that note, if you ever fight a blonde girl in a witch outfit, be careful. She likes to fire a huge rainbow laser. Trust me, even if a spell card doesn't kill, it hurts a lot. And that laser hurts more than most."

"Right, avoid the girl who would like to send me walking on the yellow brick road, got it. Anything else?" I ask. So far, this seems pretty easy.

"A couple, actually." Reimu tells me. "First off, a spell card can be created anytime, anywhere. Even in the middle of battle. But no matter what, the first time one is created, an incantation has to be said to help seal the technique into the card. After that, you won't need to say the incantation for the weaker ones, only the name of the card you wish to use. Though you still have to say the incantation for the stronger ones. You CAN say them for the weaker ones to increase the power, so it's a matter of speed over power at that point.

Another thing to know, and this is probably the most important. Spell cards CAN kill in one of three ways. First, if the shock of the attack the victim feels if great enough. Secondly, if a spell card is used against someone without any spell cards. And third, if it's against two people fighting with spell cards but NOT designating it as a spell card duel. Any of these three things is the exception to the rule of 'spell cards don't kill'.

I nod, a little pale at this point. Seems this battle system can be dangerous, and I doubt that there's any Phoenix Downs to save me here. I better get myself a spell card, and fast. But first... "Can you show me one of your spell cards?" I ask. Maybe it'll give me a better idea of what to do for my own cards.

Reimu thinks for a minute, looking at the sky. This might be normal. What ISN'T normal, however, is the slow, almost evil grin spreading across her face. "Sure. I don't see why not. And besides, we have a volunteer who is generously going to act as an example."

Eh? She's not referring to me... is she? Reimu slowly pulls out a card from her sleeve (how the hell does she get them to stay there?) and holds it out in front of her. Which is where I am. "Heck, since you even donated on your first visit here, I'll do it with the incantation."

Oh, shitting dick-nipples...

"_Lights of seven paths and shades of seven virtues, guide mine enemies into the realm of dreams through brilliant destruction..._"

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Back up, why are you aiming at me? ! The hell did I-? !"

"Hey Reimu! I came to play, ze! Get me some tea, would-?" Eh, there's a voice above me? Is that my rescuer? ! Before I can turn and look, Reimu finishes her attack.

"_Spirit Sign 'Fantasy Seal'!_" Suddenly from Reimu's body, seven big orbs of light, all in the colors of the rainbow, come flying out before shooting at the voice that spoke before, letting off a cacophony of explosions of light and noise before whatever they hit goes flying away. I blink a few times, wondering if I should feel sorry for whoever took the blow.

_Meh, fuck it._ I think after a bit. _I'm sure they're fine. And if not... better you than me, mysterious voice from above._

"Ah, that felt nice." Reimu sighs happily, putting the card back into her sleeve. "Maybe now she'll think about dropping in out of nowhere and demanding tea, without so much as a gift. So, did you understand that?" I nod quickly, making DAMN sure I have a mental note not to show up here without a peace offering of some kind. This chick is scary.

* * *

"Right. Well, that's all I needed. Thanks for the help. I'm going to head back to the village for now." It's a few minutes later, and I'm standing at the top of the stairs to the shrine grounds. I learned quite a bit today, but now I need to get the my main problem of my inability to fight and who's gonna teach me. And it has to be something outside of these spell card duels, so I can't really ask Reimu.

"Alright. Thank you for coming by and donating to the shrine, please come by if you ever have any trouble." Reimu bows to me, and we both turn to go our separate ways. Her to go back to her tea, I suppose, and I to start the long trip down to the village. As I do, I realize that so far, every person that's helped me out is a girl. Kinda weird, now that I think about it. Is this place some kind of Amazonian paradise? Meh, no big... what's with the oppressive atmosphere?

"**WHO TOOK MY MONEY?**"

The voice echoes down from the top of the hill. From the shrine. Uh, I'm not sure what's happened, but I think it'd be a good idea if I got the hell out of here. Like, _yesterday_.

"Well, now. Someone must have ticked off Reimu-san something bad!" I spin to the voice, and it takes all I have to keep my jaw from falling. There's a girl (another one, dammit! Where are all the dudes? !) sitting in a tree off to my left. Brown hair done in pigtails with purple ribbons holding them in place, a white shirt and a purple-and-black checkered skirt, long black socks and some weird wooden sandals. Geta, I think they're called? But there's two things that catch my eye. The first is the thing that she's holding that looks like a cell phone. The second are the black wings coming from her back. Yeah. Wings.

I fucking want wings.

Wait. Wings?

... Oh. That means she's not human, right? *Sigh* Right, start screaming in three...

"So, you're the one Yukari was talking about? From the outside world? That's pretty interesting." The girl speaks cheerfully, swinging her legs back and forth. And like that, I wanna get out of here all the faster. If Yukari sent her, that CAN'T be good news. Better get away from this chick fast. Pun unintended.

"Look," I speak up, trying to remain somewhat polite. "As much as I'd like to stay and talk, I need to get going. I kinda need to find someone who can teach me to fight. And, well, Yukari and I aren't exactly the best of friends, so if she sent you, I'm just going to have to leave." The girl only laughs.

"The old gap lady? Send me? Heh, you are definitely an outsider then! I don't work for Yukari, I run a newspaper!" She looks at me for a second. "Wait, teach you to fight? You mean that Reimu-san didn't teach you how to use danmaku?"

"Well, she did... somewhat. Mainly about spell cards." I answer, edging myself down the stairs slowly. "But I mean actually fight. See, I kind of need it for my job."

The girl continues to stare at me, before a huge grin spreads across her face. "Well, if that's all, then I can help you out, no problem!" She exclaims. She pushes herself off the branch the branch she was on and lands in front of me. "I know someone who can teach you, but there's a condition!"

"Of course there is. Why did I expect any different?" I respond sarcastically. "Well, if you're not here for Yukari, then what's up?"

"The god of Youkai mountain would like to meet you." She tells me. "Apparently, Yukari told her about you, Kanako-sama is really interested in you. So, she asked me to come and bring you to her!"

I blink. A god? Really? How am I supposed to... Oh wait, didn't Shikieiki-sama say something about mortal bodied gods or some such? "So, I meet with this god and you introduce me to this person who can teach me how to fight?" I ask. "Seems simple enough."

"Oh no, that's just what I was sent here for, and one way or another I'm going to bring you to her." She tells me cheerfully. Um, pretty sure that's a threat, but since you're obviously a youkai, you could probably do it no problem. So, I won't resist there. The girl takes a step back, posing with her holding her cellphone back in front of her face and her other hand on her hip, cocked to one side. "I'm Himekaidou Hatate, owner of the Kakashi Spirit News paper! I'll help you out in exchange for an interview!"

**And that's chapter two! Holy hell, my hands hurt! Ah well, it was worth it.**

**Yeah, you all forgot about Akyuu, didn't you? It's fine, nobody really remembers her. Heck, the first time I learned of her was in Labyrinth of Touhou. THAT'S a really hard game. Fun though. But yeah, putting Jay in Keine's house would have just been too easy to do, and I don't like doing things easy. And just dropping him off at Reimu's would have been the same thing. On that note, hopefully I kept Reimu in character. As for Hatate, I used her for the same reason as Akyuu. Using Aya was just too damn predictable.**

**So, we learn a bit more about the Mystic Eyes and the limits Jay has with them. So, does anyone know what his combat style is going to be focused around? Yeah, had one guy send me a PM asking if I was going to give him a big sword or some crap. Please remember, this guy is as normal as you can get, at least until he was brought to Gensoukyou, and even then, the only special thing about him is his eyes. He didn't suddenly get muscles or anything, and he has no training. So why would I give him something heavy and cumbersome like that.**

**Granted, MY main fighting style focuses on using pole-arms or heavy swords, but since I focus on SPEED with those and not strength... ah well.**

**Leave a review, let me know how I did. Later!**


	3. A Wolf in Knight's Clothing

**So, funny little thing. I've been noticing some things about me. I really enjoy fics where the main hero, who is usually nice in canon, is made into a dark/evil person in the fics. Maybe it's the fall from grace, maybe it's the joy from watching a guy that's usually walked all over turning into an actual person instead of a doormat. I think it's the blood and the gore and the killing though. It's even more fun when the hero is insane evil. Makes me all tingly inside, and join in with his activities.**

**Oh yeah, just a heads up. In order to keep myself from getting bored from just writing one thing, I have several story ideas planned on doing alongside this. I am for sure doing a Touhou oneshot that has no connection whatsoever with Tracing Death, but as for the other story... well, I'll let you decide. Poll's on my profile.**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Touhou, and still wish I did. I DO, however, have the stuff for a Touhou Tabletop RPG. Now if only I can think of a campaign...**

* * *

Ah, flying. Something all of us have dreams of doing, be it with wings or jet packs. Flying over the trees, soaring through the clouds, singing the Superman theme at the top of our lungs. Loop-the-loops and barrel rolls, insane dives towards the ground at top speed and pulling up at the last second. I got to do something that most everyone would kill for, and afterward, there was only one thing to do.

Puke my god-damned stomach out. Twice.

I was doubled over near a tree, one hand on it while the other was on my stomach. While I was catching my breath, Hatate stood nearby, apparently pleased with herself on her 'great flying'. From what I could gather, this was the first time she ever flew while carrying someone, and she was congratulating on doing so well. Thing is, she got a little... carried away, shall we say? After a somersault to show off to me, she lost her grip, and grabbed me by the top of my kosode. Of course, the blows kept coming. I didn't realize that my belt holding said top was loose, and it came undone, and then I fell right out of my shirt.

You think that's bad? It took Hatate a few seconds to realize what happened. Then another three to kick herself into gear to catch me.

Thankfully, she did, and while I'm once again trying to get the ground and trees and everything else to stop moving, she's running off an adrenaline high and asking if we can do that again. From a higher distance. I'd reply, but when I tried earlier was when I puked a second time. Still, I make a mental note to never fly again unless it's somehow under my own power. Or with someone that's more experienced with this kind of thing.

"So!" Hatate calls out cheerfully. "You doing ok over there?"

"Hurp! Bluuurrhh!"

"Huh, guess that's a 'no'."

I held off on giving an answer to try and spit out anything else from my mouth. Once I could I stood up and leveled a glare at the brunette. "That's a damn understatement." She merely blinked and gave a shrug, causing me to growl in my throat. But it's not like I could do anything. It was either travel by foot or flight, and guess what I chose? So yeah, my fault on that. But still!

I sighed, and finally looked around where we landed. From my guess, we were on top of the mountain, though I wasn't about to go to the bloody edge to take a look. Knowing my luck so far, someone would kick my ass off. The tree I had blessed with my lunch was at the edge of a forest, and when I say forest, I mean a huge-ass one. The trees were tall, and so far wide that I'd probably need four or five of me, fingertip-to-fingertip, in order to surround the thing.

And funny thing, despite me having already been in this world for a week. I've only just now noticed how fresh the air hear is. Having been born and raised in the city, I never really knew or cared, especially since I only went outside if I had to. But being here on this mountain really drove it home. Though to be honest, I'd probably enjoy it more if I wasn't still suffering from my impromptu sky-diving lesson.

Yeah. I'm not going to forget that anytime soon.

The next thing I notice is another damn shrine, just past some kind of red gateway. Unlike Reimu's shrine, however, this one is really nice looking. There appears to be the main building, with two more wings on either side. The thing is a deep red, and the sheer size of it just screams "Hey! Look at me! I'm important!"

Strange thing is, I'm not getting the feeling that I did from Reimu's shrine here. Strange, considering that I'm supposed to be meeting with a god of some sort. Don't get me wrong, there's a feeling of something else here. But unlike the comfort that Reimu's gives, this one feels like it's trying to tell me I'm insignificant. Or something along those lines.

Of course, noticing the shrine brings me to the last thing. Sitting on the front steps is- wanna take a guess? That's right, another chick! Starting to get tired of all of these girls. This one has blue hair, and is wearing a poofy red shirt and a skirt of the same color, darker shade, one leg drawn up to her chest while the other lies flat on the ground on the outer-side of the leg. And there's some kind of weird doughnut-looking thing behind her as well. From where I am, I can't really make out anything else, but with the way she seems to be staring at me I'm going to guess and say that she's waiting for me. And hit me if I'm wrong, but if she's waiting for me, that probably means that she's the big cheese here.

Which means she's the god that wanted to talk to me, and she saw me blow chunks. Fuck, there goes a first good impression. Still, I suck it up and walk towards her, noticing out the corner of my eye that Hatate's following. Meh, whatever. Once I get closer, I can actually see the girl in red puff her chest out, trying to make herself more important. Wait, chest? Holy hell, since the first time since I've gotten here, I've found a girl who actually has boobs! Woot! Oh wait, hold on. Yeah, too big for my tastes. But still, a girl who's more 'woman' than 'girl'! Now I won't feel like a dirty perv for hitting on her!

... Wait, would she smite me if I did that? And why do I suddenly feel large amounts of hate from what feels like multiple people? Behind me, Hatate pauses for a second before quickly following again.

"Eh? That's weird." She murmurs. "I suddenly felt like hitting something really hard. I wonder why?" Ok, know what? Just in case, I'm going to increase my efforts in focusing on this red-dressed woman's face by about triple. Also, going be more careful with my thoughts. That's probably going to help me live longer, I think.

Shaking off most of my thoughts, save the ones that'll keep my ass alive, we finally arrive in front of who I'm _guessing_ is Kanako, and I can finally get a good look at her. That doughnut-looking from earlier looks like it's made of rope and it's got strips of paper hanging from it. Guess they're talismans of some kind. Dark red eyes, a circlet made of grass or rope on her forehead, and... god-dammit, a mirror right on her chest. Make this harder for me why don't you? Hatate finally steps up beside me, giving Kanako a deep bow. I should probably do the same, but I did enough bending over at that tree earlier. Besides, this chick strikes me as prideful, and wants to surprise me with who she is. Might as well let her.

"Welcome! You stand on the ground of the Moriya Shrine, dwelling place of me, Yasaka Kanako, the god of wind and rain!" Did I say prideful? Scratch that, bump it up to egotistical. She's even got a smirk going on. "I am sure you are wondering as to why I have summoned you here."

"To be honest," I pipe up. "I have a pretty good idea as to why. Yukari, right?"

She nods, apparently pleased. "Hmm, smart. I like that in a man."

Oh, so we're playing _that_ game, are we? Dammit, I hate that game, I suck at it. So, we'll play the game I'm good at. Brutal honesty to the point of rudeness. "Meh, more like 'really damn obvious.' She and I met about a week ago, apparently wanted to have me do some things for her. So, what do you want?"

Kanako's smirk increases a bit more. Whether it's because I'm not falling all over myself at her compliment or that she likes those that get to the point, I don't know. "First, I'd like you to demonstrate your powers for me. I want to see just what it is you can do."

I just look at her, a deadpan expression on my face. "Uh-huh, sure. And why would I do that, and on what? Not quite sure if Yukari told you, but my power is kind of dangerous, and I'd rather not use it willy-nilly."

"Power?" Hatate blinks at me confusedly. "Wait a minute Jay-san. You have a power? So, why didn't you fly up yourself?"

Now it's MY turn to stare at her. "Fly? Last I checked, humans can't fly."

"You met Reimu." she states.

"...And?" I ask.

"Oh, that's simple," Kanako speaks up. "What do you think her ability is?" What is going on, exactly? Last I checked, her being a miko meant she had spiritual powers or some shit. Wouldn't THAT be her power? "She can float!"

What? 'Float'? I heave a sigh. "Ok, I'm sure you meant that to sound epic and all, but that's just lame as hell. Are you sure it's not her spiritual powers and whatnot? Next you'll be telling me that she can never get fat either!"

"She can't."

"...The hell?"

"I'm not sure if this is true or not, but apparently she has this mystical treasure passed down the Hakurei line, and one of it's abilities is to let its holder eat sweets without gaining weight. As for the floating thing, it may SOUND weak, but it's not just floating above the ground. You are aware how she created the spell card system?"

I nod, crossing my arms to recall the discussion I had with the miko earlier. "Yeah, to make it fair for humans to fight youkai, right? She even showed me one, and told me how to make my own."

Kanako chuckles, though it sounds kind of forced. "For one of her spell cards, she uses her power to float between dimensions. She's essentially invulnerable to attacks, while she can still fight at full power. and she can do so indefinitely if she wanted to. Doesn't sound so lame now, does it?" she adds when she sees my gobsmacked face. Seriously, that's broken as hell!

"Now!" Kanako says, standing up suddenly. "As for wanting to see your power, you could call it a whim. Come, walk with me." Or so she says, since she's now floating away. Still, me and Hatate follow behind her as she moves towards the forest.

While we follow, I pass a look back at my winged companion. "Hey, Hatate. Been meaning to ask. What kind of youkai are ya?" Yeah, I'm just now asking, sue me. I had more important things on my mind.

Hatate seems surprised for a second that I'm asking, maybe she thinks it was obvious? If so, she quickly remembers that I'm from the outside world and answers me. "I'm a crow tengu, of course! One of the strongest types of youkai around!" She suddenly switches from proud to sheepish. "Though to be honest, I'm not that good at fighting or even danmaku. I'm a bit of a shut-in, so..."

Well, that's nice, Jay, you just made her uncomfortable. Way to go! "Hey, don't worry about it," I tell her, waving a hand. "Me, unless it was for my job or something life threatening, I didn't leave my room, let alone my house. Hell, most of the time I didn't even open my blinds for the sun. So I understand how you feel."

"Really?" She asks with an interested gleam in her eye. "Why didn't you go outside? I mean, even I like to sit out on my roof from time to time."

"I hate people." I tell her, not even really thinking about my words. At her somewhat bewildered look, I decide I should probably clarify. "Well, it's not so much hating people as hating all the stupid shit they do. The farther I stay away from that, the happier I'll be." On a side note, that is also one of the reasons I don't drink coffee.

"Here we are," Kanako suddenly declares, preventing Hatate from saying anything else. We stopped in front a a pretty tall tree, about 40-50 feet into the forest outside the shrine, though what makes this tree more special than all the others is beyond me. "This tree is what I want you to demonstrate your powers on. Do whatever you need, but show me what it is that you can do."

Well, easy enough. Though to be honest, I'm a little happy that it's a tree. If it was any kind of flesh, dead or not, that she wanted a demonstration on... I know I'll probably have to do it someday, but I was hoping not to do it on flesh for my first time.

...Yes, yes, I realized it as soon as I finished the thought. Shut up.

Thankfully, there's a thin branch at the base of the tree that I can use. Dunno if it's luck on my part, or if someone put it there ahead of me, but whatever. I pick it up and turn back to the tree, activating my eyes. Immediately I have to close them as a headache flares up. There's a lot more stuff out here than there are in my room at Akyuu's home. But the main problem is that Kanako is almost dierectly in my sight, and I apparently tried to see her lines without meaning to. Thankfully I manage to avert my view enough that the tree is still in my sight, but Kanako isn't. I think the god, or goddess, whatever she wants to be called, caught my sudden look of pain since she frowned, but I guess she decides not to worry about it since she says nothing.

Focusing on the tree, I try and pick a line for me to cut, though to be honest I think I may doing so to find the one that'll let me show off the most. I mean, how often are you asked by a god to show your power, eh? I finally settle on a line near the base, angling up to the right slightly. Slowly I insert the thinnest end of the branch into the line on the left side. Without any strain at all, the branch goes in, and I manage to bring it through the entire line, exiting out the trunk. Nothing happens for a moment, and then the tree slides down from where I cut it, hitting the ground before starting to fall towards us. Before I can even move, Kanako raises her, a sudden heavy wind comes and pushes the tree backwards, making it crash on the trees behind it. Hatate starts taking pictures while Kanako stares at the stump that was left. I, however, was focusing on what I just did. Cutting through that line and that tree just drops? That was awesome!

This feeling though... how do I describe it? You know when sometimes you grab a cup, thinking that there'll be liquid in it, or that it's more full than you think it is? When you pick it up, and it's weightless in your hands for a brief second before you feel all of the weight again? It was like that, except the feeling didn't last for a second. Like I was moving my hand through the air when there was no wind. It's scary, actually. This tree was huge, both in height and width. And with a simple branch, the thin end no less, I cut through it like it was nothing. Is that what my power does? Make destroying, KILLING something that big as easy as breathing? It's kind of frightening.

And yet, some part of me deep down wanted to do it again.

* * *

A few minutes later, and we're sitting in front of the shrine again. To be more precise, Hatate and I are sitting in front of the shrine, Kanako is sitting on the porch. Hatate keeps looking at the photos she took, and I pretty much got a handle on the feelings I had from tracing a line for the first time. Now I'm just waiting for Kanako to speak. Not sure, but I think she's going to tell me what she wants me to do now. Finally she speaks up, and her statement makes my jaw drop.

"So how much to hire you?"

"...Wha?" I manage to get out. Yeah, eloquent, sure, bite me.

"The Moriya shrine serves the people, which includes exterminating youkai," Kanako starts to explain. "True, some of our faith comes from youkai, but sometimes there comes a youkai that is just too dangerous, or goes out of their way to disrupt the peace of Gensoukyou. People like Reimu, or my shrine's own maiden, my cute little Sanae, or that blonde witch Marisa go out to resolve these incidents. You, however, don't belong to a shrine, and you have no money. So, I'd like to hire you full-time as a youkai exterminator. I'll even throw in room and board! How about it?"

Well, that seems quite friendly of her. Room, board, money, and I get to help people? Nice, I guess, 'cept I don't really care about the 'helping people thing'. I mean, if I do, then yay, fine for me. But it was never really high on my priorities. Speaking of priorities...

"Sorry, pass. My boss wouldn't really like that, I think." I tell her, placing my arms in an X. "Besides, I don't think I'd be comfortable in a shrine, I'm not religious at all. Sorry about that."

Kanako doesn't seemed pleased at that, but soon gets a sly smile on her face. And I get the feeling that I'm about to hear her try and persuade me. Well, whatever. Let's see what she has to say, even if I have to turn it down. Wonder what it'll be.

"What if I let you sleep with Sanae, my shrine maiden?"

WHAT? !

"WHAT? !" I hear someone scream behind Kanako. The god turns around, and I look over her shoulder. Standing in the doorway is a girl with long green-hair (I'm no longer going to be surprised by hair colors or the large amount of girls, I tell myself.), dressed in a white shirt with blue trim and detached sleeves, a blue skirt that reaches her knees, and brown boots. I notice that she's got some kind of ornaments in her hair, a clip shaped like a frog's head and a snake wrapped around her hair on one side. Seeing the latter, I shrink back. Damn snakes. What catches my attention most, however, is the fact that her face is bright red, whether because she's angry or embarrassed or both, I don't know. But all the evidence leads me to believe that this is-

"S-s-Sanae! I-I meant sleep in your room, not, you know, WITH you!" Kanako stutters out. Yeah, like that's any better. I'm not quite sure, but I think I see a black aura surrounding this Sanae person, and her eyes are shadowed... and now I see two glowing yellow dots and I think I want to get the hell out of here. Hatate must feel the same as me, cause she's got my arm in her hands and she's lifting off into the air. Despite my earlier vow concerning flying, I'll let this one slide as Hatate flies us away quickly. Neither one of us look back as the air is shook by screams of mercy, and loud explosions from which I can feel heat on my back. I don't care where we go, so long as it's not there.

"So." Hatate speaks up after slowing down a bit. "What WAS that that you did to the tree? I mean, cutting and destroying trees are really no big deal, but not many humans can do it. And you did it with a stick. So, what happened?"

Well, I knew that this would come up eventually, but I hoped that it would be a bit longer until that point. Well, whatever. Might as well answer. "My eyes. I can see where things can be destroyed easily, and by attacking that point, I well, destroy the object easily. Anything that I can see the spots to attack on are fair games, no matter the shield or defenses. Not something that I'm exactly comfortable with having, but I got them anyways."

Hatate grimaces, clearly uneasy. "I can think of at least several people right now that'll be interested in testing that." she mutters. Testing? Methinks not. "So, what'd you mean by 'your boss wouldn't like that'?" Eh? Oh, she means what I said to Kanako when I turned her offer down.

"My boss doesn't want anyone wanting me, or my power mostly, under just anyone's employment." I tell her. "Since apparently they can get more powerful. And no, I don't know what that means, she wouldn't tell me." I add, seeing the reporter open her mouth to ask me another question. Sure, it's a lie. But I don't really care. I'm just telling enough info to satisfy her while keeping most of it to myself. No need to tell her about the actual abilities of my eyes, right?

"Alright, then, who's your boss?" Confound you, unpreparedness! I saw not this coming when I should have! C'mon, think of something, anything! ... I got nothing. Guess I got to go with the truth.

"The Yama." I answer Hatate. It's not that I don't want to tell her the truth, far from it. It's just, if Reimu's response to who my boss is was any indication, Shiki-sama can be pretty annoying to people, and is kind of unliked. Then again, she's the judge of the dead, deciding what happens to you after you kick the bucket, so I can't imagine meeting her is altogether pleasant, you know?

Hatate, however, merely nods. "I keep meaning to try and meet her, if only to try and get an interview. But I don't know where to go." Well, THAT was unexpected. I honestly thought she'd wig out. Meh, better for me, since we're flying. Speaking of...

"Where are we going?" I ask, idly noting that we're about halfway down the mountain, but on a different side then where we first arrived. Below us a river flows, and I think we're following it purposefully. Thankfully Hatate isn't going that fast, so I'm able to keep from getting sick again. Which is a good thing, cause I don't have anything else in my stomach, and I don't want to find out if it's possible to puke THAT out as well.

"I made a promise, didn't I?" She answers, gesturing with her head in front of us where the river appears to become a waterfall. "I asked the questions I wanted, so now I'm taking you to someone that can teach you to fight! Word of warning though, you might have to do a bit of sweet-talking."

"Swell." I respond sarcastically. "And why would that be?"

"Look down there." She gestures again towards the waterfall, and I notice that on one side of it appears to be a small village. Who the hell would build a village here? Then I remember that someone built a shrine on top of the damn mountain. "That there is where the White Wolf Guard, a group of soldiers consisting of white wolf tengu, live and train. The person I was telling you about is there."

I barely hold back a snort. White wolves? Seriously? The most cliche thing in stories when the hero needs aid? Meh, least it's not a dragon or an angel. If it was, I'm not sure what I'd do. Because honestly, I refuse to live a cliche. It's boring. "So the chick," I assume it's a girl for obvious reasons. "The one that's going to be training me. Is she some big shot, like the leader of them all?" As I ask my question we touch down on the edge of the village, though I don't see anyone. Maybe they're all training or something?

"Not really," Hatate answers, smoothing out her skirt. "She's well respected by all the members of the Guard, but they don't have a leader outside of the leader of all the tengu. In order to the leader of the guard, you have to be stronger and more experienced than the other guardsmen, and you also have to have taught a disciple. Momiji-sempai refuses to teach any member of the guard since they all learn the same style anyways. She wants to do something different."

Sounds like a picky woman, this Momiji. Still, I can kind of understand her wanting to do something different. "So, does she even want to lead the White Wolf Guard?"

"Perhaps you should ask me directly, instead of getting an answer second-hand."

Whirling around, I'm met with someone who right away I can identify as a youkai. What gave it away, you ask? The white wolf ears on top of her head, I answer. White ears, short white hair, and- is that a white tail moving behind her? Hot damn it is! I take in the rest of this new person, trying not to keep going back up to the ears or down to the tail. White shirt with detached sleeves and a collar reaching halfway up her neck, a black skirt with a red, flame-like pattern to it, and red geta on her feet with a small red hat resting between her ears. I think the thing that catches my eye the most is what she's holding in her hands. In her left is a circular white shield that has a red leaf on it. Maple leaf, I think. And in her right is a huge curved sword. Like, two-handed sword big. And she's holding it in one hand, easily. She narrows her red eyes at me, clearly suspicious.

"Hatate-san, why'd you bring a human here?" she asks, not moving her gaze from me. Yeah, I can already tell that this lady is a no-nonsense type. Fun times for me, oh joy oh thrill. "Furthermore, why'd you bring a human here from the God's shrine? Don't tell me it's another of her little plans to get more faith."

"Nah, nothing like that Momiji-sempai." Hatate denies, shaking a hand back and forth. "Jay-san here has a problem, and in exchange for an interview I offered to introduce him to someone to help him."

"I see," Momiji mutters, finally moving her gaze from me and causing me to let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "It's odd to find a person here in Gensoukyou that agrees to be interviewed, let alone have YOU being the one to interview. Still, it's nice to see you trying something new. Good work then, Hatate-chan." Momiji's words cause Hatate to blush and scratch the back of her head. Guess the poor girl isn't used to getting praised all that much if such a little thing brings about such a reaction. Still, I notice that this is my chance to ask the wolf-girl in front of me what I need.

"Um, excuse me." I speak up, getting Momiji's attention again. "Yeah, hi, my name's Jay-"

"She just told me that." Momiji interrupts flatly.

"Oi, trying to be polite here, hope you don't mind." I retort without thinking. My words bring a small smirk to the soldier's lips, and I continue speaking. "Anyways, the thing I wanted to ask. Could you teach me to fight?" The smirk drops as soon as my question is finished, and now she's staring at me inquisitively.

"And why, pray tell," She says. "Does a human need to learn how to fight from a tengu? For that reason, why ask me? I know of at least four or five people right off the top of my head that can not only teach you how to fight, but are closer to the ground? If I trained you, I'd either have to keep going down the mountain, something I'm not going to be particularly fond of, or you'd have to stay up here in the mountains. Even then you wouldn't be allowed to train inside the village since you're not a soldier of the Guard nor would you be able to become one. That means you'd have to stay outside in the woods here, and I can tell right now you've got no combat or survival abilities, so you'd be dead in two days tops. That's being generous, mind you."

Yikes, tear right into me. Not like I don't have enough of an idea as to how weak or low on the food chain I am. Still, might as well give this a shot. "I need to learn how to fight and control my power, or bad things happen to me."

"What kind of things?" Momiji asks impatiently.

"The kind of things that end up with Shikieiki-sama killing me to keep me from getting out of hand." And like that, not only does Momiji go into a shocked silence, but so does Hatate. Crap, I forgot about her. Yeah, I told her I worked for the Yama, but not the specifics. I shoot a discrete glance at Hatate, hoping that my (I hope) soon to be teacher will get the message. Thankfully she does, covering up her stunned face and turning to Hatate.

"Hatate-chan, thank you for bringing him here. You can head back home, I'm going to talk with Jay-san here." When Hatate goes to protest, Momiji keeps talking. "Besides, you're going to have to go get your article ready for tomorrow, won't you? I look forward to seeing what you write." That was a bit of a low blow, but it works. After Hatate and I bid farewell (in which I promised to read her article when Akyuu got her paper) Momiji leads me into the village towards one of the cabins to explain myself.

* * *

Later that night, I'm back at Akyuu's house. I ended up telling Momiji everything since she refused to give me an answer unless I did so. I told her about arriving here, the full abilities of my eyes both current and future, about the choice Shikieiki gave me and why, my decision to accept becoming her little problem solver and thus why I needed a teacher. She agreed at last to teach me, but only after giving me a run-down of how I would need to fight, and a condition before she took me on as a student.

_*Flashback*_

_"Because of your eyes and how they must be used, you're going to have to be primarily a speedy fighter," Momiji, who's last name I now know to be Inubashiri, tells me. We're currently sitting in a small house in what I guess is the dining room, if only because of the table we're sitting at. I'm on one side, while Momiji is on the other, her sword and shield laid beside her. "Because of this, it was probably good fortune that Hatate met you and brought you to me. Tengu are known not only for being physically powerful, but also the fastest youkai around. The white wolf Tengu lean more towards power and defense while the crow tengu focus on speed and agility, as a certain pest is quick to remind me daily." she growls the last part. Shaking her head lightly, she focuses back on me._

_"However, the crow tengu are not good teachers or fighters, and the white wolves, while slower, are still amongst the fastest youkai. So, you're going to have to learn not only how to move fast for attacks, but also for evasion. Most of your training would be towards this, while also working on your stamina. I can tell, your's right now is pathetic."_

_"So, learn to move fast. Sounds easy enough." I state, prettty relaxed. So far this sounds like a breeze. Sad for me, my words make Momiji frown._

_"Can you fly?" she asks simply. When I answer in the negative, she goes on. Moving fast always has it's dangers, moreso on the ground then in the air. In the air, the wind can mess with your eyes, and you're pretty much at the winds mercy. And don't even get me started on storms. On the ground, however, you have more dangers._

_Constant moving in one direction can cause your legs and knees to break, usually to the point where they can't be healed. furthermore, balance is required at all times, and attacking at high speeds can be difficult if you have to bring your arms around in a slash, since you're going against the air. Furthermore, people think you're most vulnerable when you exit out of a run. That can't be farther from the truth. You're at your most vulnerable when you're about to enter the run, where you're committing all of your energy towards the action of moving, and therefore dodging in a split second is dangerous, and in the middle of your starting and exit points, where you have spent all your energy to moving and you start to slow down, completely defenseless. Against veteran fighters, which most of Gensoukyou is, they'll capitalize on that, and make you pay for it. Then there's tunnel vision, which I'm sure I don't need to discuss. Also, as a speed fighter, you'll have to devote most of your training to your lower body, leaving your upper body far weaker. And since you'll be focusing more on evasion, your body won't be as suited to take many blows."_

_Damn, when she puts it like that... Obviously she knows what she's talking about, especially since she just came up with a training plan so fast, not to mention a fighting style most suited for me and my eyes. That just leaves one question. "What kind of weapon would I need? I mean, I guess a sword like yours wouldn't suit me all that much, and I'm not much of a shield guy anyways."_

_Momiji sits quietly for all of 10 seconds before she smiles, a bit of a twinkle in her eye. "I've got an idea, but you're going to have to learn the basics from someone else for that weapon. I'll send a letter to them tonight."_

_*End flashback*_

After that Momiji had one of the other guardsmen escort me down the mountain and to the village (thankfully, we only flew down to the base of the mountain, the rest of the way was traveled on by foot.) where I immediately went back to Akyuu's house and crashed in my room, even though the sun is just now setting. I'm tired, and from what I gathered from Momiji, I'm going to need all my strength.

Tomorrow, I go to meet a Miss Izayoi Sakuya at the Scarlet Devil Mansion. But what did that guard who escorted me back to the village mean when she said she'd pray for me?

* * *

**And DONE! Took much longer than I though, and mostly because I had trouble getting to my computer. Relatives came to visit, and one of them was placed in my room. But I prevailed, and she's leaving in two days! So hopefully I'll e able to update more.**

**On a side note, I came to a startling realization. Cirno bores me. I don't hate her, but I no longer really like her. Wonder why that is?**

**On yet another side note, has anyone else noticed that stage four of any of the touhou games is where things go to shit for the player? Well, except for SA. Stage 3 is where things start to go horribly wrong for me there.**

**Fucking Yuugi.**

**Wonder if I should start doing rants here...?**


	4. Lesbians, Librarians, and Pyromaniacs

**Ok, before you all kill me... I have no excuse. That is all. But if you at least let me keep my arms and brain fully functioning after you're done beating me, I can try harder to get chapters out. On a side note, I think my favorite part about this chapter is the title.**

**Disclaimer: Can you guess what I don't own? That's right, Touhou! *Sob!***

* * *

The next day found me standing on the outskirts of the Human Village. Akyuu kind of freaked out this morning when I told her I had to go see this Sakuya chick, and dragged me to meet some teacher named Keine, last name unpronounceable to me. Keine also freaked a bit when told of the situation, though not as much. In a discussion in which I had no say, it was agreed that Keine and one other person would take me to Sakuya's place, and try to come with me inside. Naturally, I was starting to worry that this person wanted me to meet was a dangerous girl, but I was assured that Sakuya, for the most part, was a polite girl that was fiercely loyal to her mistress and the manor she resided in. Sounded nice, until I was told HOW the manor got its name.

The Scarlet Devil, a vampire centuries-old that is called that for her dress permanently stained by the blood of those she feasts on. Oh joy oh thrill, kill me now.

So here I am, about two hours later, waiting for Keine and whoever else she's bringing to take me there. I had originally planned to just walk there, but after being told of the name of the place and why it was called that, I instantly wanted to bring a damn army with me. Or at least a bible and some holy water. I may not be religious, but I'm willing to fall back on holy tools if I'm going to meet someone called the Scarlet Devil. Can you blame me?

"Sorry about the wait Jay!" A voice calling out to me drags me away from my thoughts and towards my hailer. Coming towards me is Keine, wearing her blue dress with some weird-ass little hat on her head, silver hair blowing behind her. Pretty nice lady, from what I can tell. Not my type, but nice. At the least she's just as kind as Akyuu is, though a bit more strict. Guess it just comes with being a teacher. Either way, the person who really catches my eye is the girl standing next to her.

Long white hair, long enough that it's actually touching the ground, with a strange ribbon on top of her head with several more on two strands of hair. A white shirt that is dirty and covered in soot with bright red overalls with what look to be charms slapped all over the thing, and brown shoes that have certainly seen better days. Pale skin covered in soot and dull red eyes that seem to have a mixture of irritation and boredom in them. Whoever this person is is certainly more laid back then everyone else I've met, save maybe Hatate.

The two of them stop in front of me, with Keine's companion looking like she'd rather be anywhere than here. "Jay-san, this is my friend Fujiwara no Mokou. Mokou, this is Jay. Say hello."

"Hey there." I greet, extending my hand to her.

"Hn." She replies, shoving her hands into her pockets. Huh, the first unfriendly person I've met since coming to this world. I'm both pleased and irritated. Don't ask, it's complicated. "Can we just get this over with and drop off the idiot to be eaten? It's too early for this crap for me." Now I'm fully irritated. And the day started off so well, too.

"Mokou!" Keine admonishes her friend who just looks away. The teacher turns to me, an apologetic look on her face. "I'm sorry about her. She's not the most polite of people."

"Eh, it's not a problem. Don't worry about, not your fault." I wave her apology off. Honestly, it doesn't bug me that much. Keine's really worried over no-nonsense

"Oi! You done flirting, or do you feel like continuing to be an ass?" And just like that I'm ticked. Seriously, what did I do to this Mokou chick? I spin my gaze to her, frown in place.

"Okay, first of all, bite me. Second off, Keine isn't my type. Finally, why are you so mad? Jealous?"

"Jealous?" Mokou snaps, taking a step towards me. Off to the side, Keine's trying to get us both to back off. Naturally we ignore her. "Why would I be jealous of you, bitch?"

"Maybe you're just jealous of the fact nobody's paying attention to your ass? Seriously, what's your problem with me?" I retort.

"My 'problem' is that I'm escorting some suicidal nut to a place anyone with half a brain stays away from if they can't defend themselves, and I have to watch him drool over my friend like just about every other guy in the village, that's what!"

"Ahh, so the little punk IS jealous!"

"You talk to all ladies like that, or just me? !"

"You're a lady? Pfft, you're flatter than any other kid I know! Hell, I've seen ducks with bigger tits!"

"Oh that is IT!" Mokou screams, lunging for my neck. In the next instant we're rolling around in the dirt, trying to beat the crap out of each other while Keine yells at us to stop acting like idiots.

* * *

"So yeah, that attack is so powerful that everyone is grateful two of this guy doesn't exist. If they used that attack at the same time, and they met head-on, the town they were in would be leveled at the _least_." I tell Mokou who's now walking beside me. The girl whistles, clearly impressed.

"Damn, that is something I've got to try to learn to do. What's that guy called again?" She asks.

"Captain Falcon. Let me know if you can pull it off, I'd like to see it happen with my own eyes once in my life."

"Sure thing! Hell, I even have a target in mind!" Mokou promises, a grin on her face.

"Swee~t!"

"Um..." Keine speaks up from ahead of us. "Excuse me, you two."

"Yeah?" We both answer, looking at the teacher.

"You two were... just at each others throats. Right?" She asks.

"Yup." I answer, nodding in confirmation.

"And you just beat each other up." Keine continues.

"Uh-huh." Mokou answers this time.

"And now you're both really friendly with each other, like the fight never happened."

"Yeah, that's right." Mokou and I answer at the same time. "What's up?"

"... How does that even _work_?"

"Pretty damn well, I'd say." Mokou comments, pulling out a pack of crumpled cigarettes, offering me one which I turn down. "What's it matter anyways? You were yelling at us to cut it out."

"Yes, and you only stopped after you hit him in the chest with a rock and he smashed your face against a tree! What is wrong with you two? !" Keine yelled at us, pulling on her hair. Mokou and I look at each other. Her clothes are torn, and she's still got some blood on her face. And from what I recall, I also punched out one of her wisdom teeth. Meanwhile my clothes, the same one's I was wearing when I first arrived here, are burned and have several tears. My white t-shirt that has the words 'I'm the bad option' written on it is missing a sleeve, and my baggy blue jeans now have a hole in the left knee and several burn marks. And my hair, dark brown, short and messy, had a crap ton of dirt and twigs in it.

I shrug, not really concerned with the pain in my chest. "Meh, that's how people like us do things. If we got a problem with the other person, we beat the living shit out of each other. 10 minutes later, we're laughing about it. No one's permanently hurt, we're cool with other, and I now have a really good friend in this place. And she can set shit on fire. FIRE! Do you understand how bad-ass that is?"

Keine narrows her eyes at me. "You have a really vulgar mouth. Can you keep it down to a minimum, or even better, don't do it at all?" I shake my head, not willing to stop.

"Nope. I'm stuck in a world where just about everybody here can ROFL-stomp my ass without even trying, I've got no spell cards, can't fire a single danmaku, and am pretty much powerless. Cursing is the only thing I can effectively do here, so dammit I'm going to do it!" I cross my arms and not firmly. No way in hell anyone is going to get me to change my mind.

Keine shakes her head, and opens her mouth to try and argue my point, but at that moment we exit out of the forest path we've been walking on and arrive at the edge of a lake. The whole place is covered by a light mist, but I can still tell that the water here is really clean. Off to our right is a bridge, and if I'm not mistaken, it looks like a person is there. "Oi, Mokou-san. Who's that over there?" I ask, gesturing to the person leaning against the bridge."

"Okay, first off, no 'san'." Mokou tells me, smacking the back of my head lightly. "In fact, here in Gensoukyou you can pretty much call everyone by name without honorifics. Place is pretty informal. Only the really polite people- like Keine- or the stick in the muds- like Keine- use honorifics here. If someone doesn't want you calling them by their first name, they'll tell you." Well, that's nice to know. I nod my head in understanding, both Mokou and I ignoring Keine's glare at the back of our heads. Mokou squints and looks at the figure in the distance. "As for who that is, I know one way to find out." My new friend raises her arm and aims it at the distant figure.

"Mokou don't you dare-!" Keine's warning comes too late as Mokou shoots a fireball at the person at the bridge, blazing at a pretty good speed. Have I mentioned how much I love fire? Whoever the person was apparently didn't, however, since they sent the fireball flying into the air. With a kick, of all things. Equally bad-ass, I'll admit. Still, looks like the fireball did it's job of getting the person's attention since they started running towards us, at a pretty good clip too.

I turned to look at Mokou, who clicked her tongue at not actually hitting her target. "Do you say hello to all people like that or what?"

"Nah," she tells me. "Remember? I said hello to you with a right." We both laugh at that while Keine walks up beside us, her forehead in her hand, muttering something about kids. I must admit that this is a lot of fun, annoying Keine like this. Wonder if this will become a hobby? I hope so. Still I have to put my thoughts on hold as the person running towards us draws closer.

Garbed in some kind of green Chinese dress and a green hat with a gold star on it sitting on long red hair is perhaps one of the prettiest girls I've seen so far. Golden eyes instead of the now-common red I've seen on a lot of people are glaring at us in a small pout, and I must admit that despite never being a leg man that I'm constantly drawn to hers. I swear Chun-Li has nothing on this chick, that's all I'm saying. This girl's chest is also bigger than most of the other girl's I've met, being slightly smaller than Kanako's. Whoops, she's talking, focus on the face Jay, don't want to look like an idiot.

"Mokou~ why'd you do that? I know you're not the most friendly person, but couldn't you hold back on trying to light me up?" the girl complains, putting her hands on her hip and leaning forward a bit. "Honestly, I get enough of that with Sakuya-chan flinging knives at me for taking a nap!" I blink at that. Throwing knives at someone for taking a nap? And I'm guessing that the Sakuya she mentioned is the same one that Momiji wants me to learn from. Well, at least I know what I'm going to be learning to fight with. That's a plus I guess.

"Maybe you should stop sleeping on the job then?" Mokou retorts, pulling out a new cigarette and lighting it. "Not exactly something the gate guard should be doing after all. Besides, only one fireball was being nice. You got me on a good day, China."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" The red-head shouts, stomping on the ground with a pout on her face. It'd be cute if she didn't just crack the earth under her foot. And it didn't even look like she was trying either. Man, screw knives I want to train under this chick!

Keine steps up before the two of them can continue. "Look, Meiling-san, we don't want to fight. We were just asked by Akyuu-san to bring Jay-san here to the mansion." At this moment she gestures to me. Meiling, or China, or whatever her name is turns to me while I give a happy wave. First chance I get, I'm asking this chick out. I don't care if she's youkai or not, I am NOT going to pass-

"Hm, pretty cute. Too bad I'm not into guys."

...Story of my fricking life...

"Uh, right." Mokou murmurs, looking a bit embarrassed. "Anyways, we we're just hoping to be able to go with him inside while he did what he came here to do."

Meiling threw a sly grin at Keine. "Why, Keine-sensei! You make it sound like he's in danger here!" Personally, considering how Akyuu and Keine acted earlier when I told them I needed to come here, and also what that wolf tengu said yesterday about praying for me, I have no doubts that this place is a bit dangerous. I'm not going to say anything, but I'm actually hoping that Keine and Mokou will go in with me. Or at least Mokou, at least I know she can fight.

"No, no! It's not that, it's not that at all!" Keine protests, waving both of her arms in front of her face. Her words might mean a lot more though if she wasn't blushing. "Please understand, it's not that we don't trust you-!"

"It's just that we don't trust the ones that matter." Mokou interrupts. I wince at that one as does Keine. I'm pretty sure that that didn't help, what with her implying that Meiling wasn't important, or at least considered a threat.

"Uh-huh." Meiling deadpans, crossing her arms. "Well, the only reason HE'S allowed in is because Sakuya-chan got a letter from someone asking her to meet him, and for some reason Lady Remilia does too. As for you two... not so much. So sorry, can't let you in."

"But-!" Keine starts to protest.

"Keine, look. You know that we appreciate you teaching the Young Lady, on your own time even. But the fact of the matter is that this meeting was set up by someone else who only GOT said meeting because it peaked Lady Remilia's curiosity." Meiling tells her, putting on an apologetic smile. "If it makes you feel better, I swear on my honor that I won't let him be put in any life-threatening situation, ok?"

"'Bout as good as we're going to get, I think." I speak up. I'm all for settling Keine's fears and all, but this is taking awhile, and I'm getting tired of standing. I turn to Mokou and hold up my hand. "I'll catch you around sometime. Drop in later tonight if you want, I'll tell you how things went."

"Considering that I have no idea why you're even coming to this place?" Mokou snorts before smirking and grabbing my hand, giving it a firm shake. "Count on it. Besides, I'm curious about that Falcon guy. You got to tell me more about him, alright?"

"Deal." I release her hand and turn to Keine. "Thanks for taking me this far, Keine. Nice meeting you."

"Y-yes, nice meeting you too." Keine replies, and then leans closer to me, looking me in the eye with such intensity that I unconsciously lean back myself. "Now I want you to promise me that you'll be careful of what you say to the lady of the house. Be polite to her, don't wander off by yourself, and if you find yourself in any danger run away, do you understand? And no matter what, stay out of the basement!"

"Yes mom, don't worry. I'm a big boy, I can tie my own shoes and everything." I joke. "Cripes, next you'll be telling me that if I get set on fire to remember to stop, drop and roll."

It takes another five minutes of Keine giving me a whole bunch of warnings and junk until Mokou drags her off. Once the two are out of sight I turn to Meiling, a friendly smile on my face. Hey, even if she's not into guys she might have a cute single friend, right? Best start earning points. "So, we ready?"

"Yup!" Meiling responds before turning and walking towards the bridge, me following soon after. "Oh, word of warning though. Two things. First, everything Keine said was important, but mostly about the basement."

That gets me to quirk an eye. "That dangerous?"

"I don't go in there if I can help it, or at least have something to... nevermind." Meiling shakes her head before giving me a piercing glare. "The second thing is more important." I gulp, a little unsettled. If a dangerous basement is lower than whatever this thing is, it's got to be bad news, right? "Sakuya is mine. Do not try to take her from me, or not even My Lady will keep me from killing you."

I blink, a little dumbfounded. "I don't even know what this Sakuya chick looks like, how the hell am I going to know who she is?"

"You'll know once we get to the gate." Meiling assures me, easing up on the glare. As we cross the bridge she sighs. "Dammit, that took far longer than I wanted to. I mean, we're not on a schedule or anything, and it's not like there was a set time, but still."

"Blame Keine. She's the one who wouldn't let me come over to play without giving me a lecture." My comment gets a chuckle out of my fiery-haired companion.

"Well, true as that may be, Sakuya still sent me out over 10 minutes ago to meet you at the bridge and escort you in." She tells me. "And as the head maid, she's pretty busy, so the longer we keep her from her duties the more likely she is to be irritated, time-stopping powers be damned."

I scratch the back of my head. This lady sounds like she's got a short temper. But if she's the head maid, of a mansion even, I can understand the whole time... wait, what? "Time-stopping? She can stop time?" Meiling gives me a nod. "And she's in charge of cleaning the mansion?" Another nod. "That's a pretty damn useful thing to have."

Meiling gives a loud laugh this time. "Yeah, it really is, isn't it? And can you imagine being able to stop time whenever you wanted?" Meiling looks up to the sky, her eyes glazing over a bit as a blush starts to form. "Being able to have a quickie right before she takes My Lady her tea, or drag out the morning after waking up so that we can spend hours in each others arms just before waking up." At this point we've reached a giant iron gate, behind which lies a path leading up to a huge blood read mansion. And by huge I mean big enough that it has it's own damn clock tower and everything. Beside me Meiling is still going, and even I'm starting to feel a little uncomfortable with the perversity of her thoughts.

"Watching as she writhes on the floor under me while My Lady watches, frozen in time and unaware that we're-" *SHWICK THUNK-THUNK-THUNK* I turn around to the sight of Meiling falling backwards, three knives in her forehead with blood trailing through the air. Before I can start screaming and panicking- you know, like any normal person would in this situation- she stops herself from falling and stands back up, pulling the knives out with a wince. "Your little love bites really hurt, Sakuya-chan. One would think you're against my love for you." This little comment earned her another knife to her head.

"What I'm against is such lewdness. We have a guest, so try to show a _little_ class, Meiling." As I turn to the owner of the new voice (funny, she's standing in front of the gate, but I'm damn sure there wasn't anyone there before) I'm struck with a few thoughts. Disbelief that there's yet another silver haired girl- seriously, isn't silver hair for old people, not young girls like this? Wariness because of the cluster of knives she's got between her fingers. And finally a tiny bit of perverse joy. Why? Easy: this girl is in a short skirted-maid costume. What red-blooded male wouldn't feel joy at seeing a girl in a short-skirted maid outfit, be honest here. The only things that keep me from ogling the maid is that she just sent three knives into her coworker's head in a flash without blinking, and the fact that with all the info given to me I just realized that this is Izayoi Sakuya, the person I've been sent here to meet. Even if I couldn't piece that together, the glare that Meiling's giving me right now would also be a good reason not to stare.

Before I can say anything intelligent (which is probably a good thing, considering I can't think of anything) Sakuya turns to me and gives a small bow. "On behalf of my mistress I welcome you to the Scarlet Devil Mansion. I am the head maid, Izayoi Sakuya." Her tone is polite enough, and certainly she didn't say anything wrong. But there's just something about her, something off. And yes, I'm talking about other than the fact she just sank knives into a coworker's face. I don't know, it's like she's the predator, and everyone else is prey. Still, I should at least be polite to her in turn.

"Thanks for having me. Name's Jay. Um, you're the same Sakuya Momiji wanted me to meet, right?" Doesn't hurt to make sure, right?

"I am. And you're the person she asked me to help, hm?" Sakuya asks in turn. At my nod, she merely turns to open the gate before beckoning me to follow her. After jogging a bit to catch up to her she starts walking down the path, Meiling trudging along behind us complaining the whole way. Something about her "Sakuya-chan not showering her with attention." Though if having her attention means having knives sunk into my skull, I'm damn fine with not having it.

The walk takes about two minutes before we reach the front door. Seriously, who needs a garden that damn big? Once inside, I decide in the next few seconds that this place is WAY too fancy for me. Also, much too red. I can feel my feet sinking into the carpet, and there's fancy vases and busts of some girl all over the place, and the walls have tons of paintings hung up on them. And why is it so dark in here? I have to keep my questions on hold though since Sakuya doesn't stop walking, and so I shove my thoughts to the back of my mind and continue following her, Meiling now walking beside me. My guess is so that she can poke me in the side every time I look down. And with Sakuya wearing a short skirt, I end up getting poked a lot. Curse my wandering eyes. And curse her for wearing that! If you don't want wandering eyes don't wear a short-skirt and look damn good in it! And if you DON'T look good in it, don't wear a short-skirt! ... Where'd that last bit come from?

Something else that catches my eyes though is the shit-ton of fairies all over the place dressed in maid outfits. I've seen a few around the outskirts of the village, and I think I saw a few yesterday when I went to see Reimu. They don't really appear to be cleaning anything. Instead they seem to be more interested in pointing at me and laughing. Am I really that funny looking?

Eventually we come to a stop in front of a large set of oak doors. The only thing really out of place about them is the giant magic circle-looking thing on them. Sakuya places her hand on the knob, but turns to me. "This is the library of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Please go inside and head straight. Do not make any turns, and do not touch any of the books. I will meet you in the center of the library shortly." With that she opens the door and then... disappears. I didn't even blink and she was gone. How'd she do that?

Meiling walks past me, patting my shoulder as she goes. "Stops time." she says. It takes me a few seconds before I realize she was talking about how the head maid vanished. Well if that's so, she's a damn show-off. Now that I think about it, she'll probably already be up ahead waiting for us. Cheater. With a sigh I head inside. I don't get far though, since the sight before me is pretty stunning.

Books. Yeah, it's a library, I get that. But this place is fucking HUGE. Seriously, I think this place could easily have three or so football games going on at once in here, and there'd still be room! And if that wasn't enough, the shelves are hella high. I could go bungee-jumping off these things. Maybe I'll ask Sakuya if I can do that later.

"Magnificent sight, isn't it?"

I'm pulled from my thoughts by a girl off to my side. Pale as a ghost, and dressed in what looks to be a purple bathrobe with a light-purple nightgown underneath that. A hat with a moon on the front with a red and blue ribbon placed on the side sits on top of a head of long purple hair. The hair has quite a few ribbons in it, also blue and red, and purple eyes stare at me sleepily. In the girl's hand is a rather thick book, and a few more float beside her. Methinks I just found the librarian.

"You are Sakuya's guest, I presume?" the girl speaks up again, her voice soft. She sounds tired, or at least under the weather. "Well, Remi's not awake right now, which is why I'm assuming the cat asked if we could talk here in my library."

"Cat?" I ask.

The girl ignores me, gesturing with a finger and causing the books to fly to places on the shelves, fitting them between their brothers. "I am Patchouli Knowledge, The librarian here and master magician. It is no brag to say that because of my skill I am called the One Week Magician."

"'One Week Magician'?" Again, I'm ignored.

"Please come along. I have some experiments that I want to do, so the sooner this is done and over with the sooner I can get back to work. And boy." She floats a little so that she can look me in the eye. "I'd advise not touching anything. I rather dislike rats, and I can assure you the punishment for theft is quite high. Oh, and you have sticks in your hair." Blushing I reach up my hands and start removing them. How the hell did I forget about those!

"Lady Patchouli~!" Both of us turn to look at yet another new arrival, a girl looking to be around my age with long red hair, a lot like Meiling's. Long black dress with a white shirt underneath, black high-heels, and two sets of devil wings, one on top of her head and another on her back. So this is the Scarlet Devil? Wonder if she's single... and straight. "Ah, there you are Lady Patchouli! Sakuya is waiting for you at your desk. Oh? And who's this?" Don't fuck this up Jay, don't fuck this up!

"A guest of our cat, Koakuma." Patchouli cuts in. Way to shoot down my attempts, lady. At least give me enough time to try and say something to the cute girl, would you? The girl, Koakuma, gasps and brings her hand to her mouth.

"You mean someone actually came to the Scarlet Devil Mansion willingly? Ahahaha, Lady Remilia must be pleased!" So Koakuma isn't the Scarlet Devil? I think that only helps my chances, though I'm not sure how to feel about that first bit. She extends a hand to me, a bright smile on her face. "I'm Koakuma, Lady Patchouli's assistant! Call me Koa-chan!"

"Koakuma!" Patchouli snaps. For whatever reason Koa starts to pull back her hand, her bright smile turning a little sheepish. At this point however, I've already reached forward and grabbed her hand, giving it a small shake.

"Name's Jay. Pleasure to meet you." Man her hands are soft. I think I would have held on for a bit longer if she didn't pull her hand back, looking a little confused. Patchouli also looks a bit stunned.

"You... touched me?" Koa asks. "Are... are you okay?"

"Y...yeah?" I respond. "Why wouldn't I be?" In answer to this Koa just leans forward a bit.

"You're the first person that has touched me and not had anything happen to them." She mutters. Well I wouldn't say that Koa-chan, you invading my personal space isn't doing nothing to me. And no, I don't want you to stop. She sniffs me a couple of times, making me feel a bit weird. I don't stink do I? "Smells like a virgin, too..."

Rub it in. You just killed the mood for me. Wait, why are your eyes glazing over?

"Koakuma!" Patchouli shouts again. With a start Koakuma pulls back, blushing a bit. Only now do I realize that she's also got a bit of drool coming from her mouth. What the hell is going on? Before I can ask Koa bows to the both of us, stammering an apology and running off. I watch her run, still utterly confused as to what just happened. Patchouli takes that moment to speak up. "Sorry about that. Koakuma is a succubus. Consider yourself lucky boy-"

"Jay." I interrupt. And she ignores.

"You're the first male to touch her without becoming a simpering idiot. Curious. Ah, but it's too minor for me to care about. Now come, boy. Let's get this over with." And without so much as a second glance at me she proceeds to walk off to where I assume the others are waiting. With a sigh and a fair bit of reluctance on my part I follow her.

* * *

Thirty or fourty minutes later we're sitting at a round table with cups of tea in front of us. I've just gotten finished telling my story of how I came here and what Yukari gave me. And I mean all of it. Apparently Momiji went ahead and told Sakuya in the letter already, but the maid of the mansion wanted to hear it from my mouth directly. So now that I'm done, I'm just sitting back and waiting to see what happens.

"Well that blows." Meiling states, leaning back in her chair. I hold back a snort of laughter at that. Understatement of the damn century lady. "So what, that tengu sent you here to learn from Sakuya?"

Sakuya herself looks a little troubled. "I suppose I can understand why she thought to send you to me to learn the basics of knife-handling. Still, I'm not entirely comfortable with teaching someone. Besides, I'm better with throwing knives, not actually getting in close and fighting with them. And I'm not sure My Lady would accept me teaching anybody."

Patchouli on the other hand looks a bit more awake, and is staring hard at my face. Halfway through my explanation she demanded I activate my eyes, which I did. Thing is she won't let me turn them off, and it's starting to hurt really bad now. I think the only person I can clearly see the lines on are Sakuya, and the ones on the other three here, while blurry to me, are nonetheless causing my headache to worsen. And then there's all the books in my sight. Turns out they're spell books, and with a whole crap of them right in my sight... I'm really hoping for some aspirin. Hell, I'm in such a bad mood that I don't even want to hit on Koa. Man, when will this be over...

Patchouli finally lets me deactivate them, leaning back and closing her eyes, apparently deeply in thought. Me, I don't care. I'm just glad that I can stop looking at these lines now. My head is throbbing, and while I'm happy to find out that I can now tell humans from youkai depending on how clear the lines are, this happiness is dampened by my want to just go lie down. Finally Patchouli opens her eyes and starts to speak.

"Sakuya, perhaps a test is in order?" Oh I do not like the sound of that.

Sakuya still looks a bit apprehensive. "What kind of test?"

Pathcouli gives a small smile at this. "The wolf said that he'll need to build up his stamina, correct? Why don't we see where he stands at that exactly? Koakuma can assist, I'm sure."

...On second thought, I think I like the sound of this. Please continue pajama lady!

"Are you sure? I mean, isn't she...?" Sakuya asks, drifting off at the end.

Meiling pipes up at this part. "Hey, if Patchy's offering Koa-chan to help then you should take her up! Besides, it's not often Patchy offers aid for free." A glowing red ball hits Meiling in the head, knocking her out of her chair. "Ow."

"You deserved it." Patchouli states flatly. Anyways Sakuya, what do you say?" Sakuya looks between Koakuma, who seems rather eager, and me, who is sending her a pleading look. She does this a few more times before sighing.

"Very well." She finally relents. "I suppose it is a simple enough test, and it should be good enough for milady too."

I barely manage to hold back a cheer. Best. Day. EVER.

* * *

_Worst day ever, worst day ever, WORST DAY EVER!_

What brought about this change in thought? Well, first it wasn't what I was thinking. Not at all. Turns out they meant something like a game of tag, where I had to avoid being touched by Koa for a certain period of time. Okay, fine. Still pretty good. I should have known that things would be bad when Patchouli told Koa not to hold back. I thought she meant that Koa could tackle me or whatever.

Not throw fucking fireballs the size of watermelons.

"Shit shit shit SHIT!" I chant, ducking over another blast of fire before doing a dive roll to dodge another.

"Come on, hold still! Don't you want to feel nice and warm? I'll make sure to treat you well and make you all~ toasty!" Koa yells from behind me, flying in the air with a maniacal grin on her face. Yeah, that's problem number two. Apparently, Koa's also a massive pyromaniac. As Patchouli's familiar, she was supposed to be taught a bit of magic. That plan was thrown out the window when the succubus took a rather... dangerous love for the first element she learned, which happened to be fire. She fell so in love with it that she refused to learn any other elements. Also, this brought along a third problem.

Burning things turns her on. Like, a whole lot. But since she puts all that excitement towards burning things, her wanting to burn things just keeps building up more and more. And guess who's the unlucky little bastard that's in her cross-hairs? Also, is it just me or is this mansion really big? Granted, it looked big outside, but for some reason it feels bigger inside. Probably just me though. Whoops, that one was a little close. Better focus more on running.

I swear to whatever deity is looking out for me, I will reign in my attempts to hit on girls and focus less on who's datable or not upon meeting them if they will just get me out of here alive. Well, no deity is helping me, so I make do with the next thing that comes to mind. Getting the fairies to help me out.

"Whaaaaa!"

*THWOOM*

By taking the fire for me.

What, I never said they were helping willingly. And this is payback for the little turds laughing at me anyways.

Why yes I can hold a grudge, why do you ask?

"Huh, what are you- YAAA!" *THWOOM*

"H-hey, let go of-!" *THWOOM*

"Let go you stupid huma-!" *THWOOM*

"Sakuya~, what's all the- Wha, hey-!" TWHOOM*

Huh? For some reason after that last one, the fireballs stop coming. That said, I'm not stopping, so I keep running, taking random turns until I reach a dead-end. "Crap, crap, crap..." I mutter, looking around. There's no other way to go except back, or this door off to my side. Screw it, I'll test my luck. With a hard yank I open the door, barely noting that it's the only metal door I've seen in the mansion, and jump inside, pulling the door shut behind me. Leaning against it, I try to keep an ear open for any sound of the crazy fire-loving Koa, panting and trying to catch my breath. I count a minute before I finally start to relax. "Phew, lost her."

"Are you playing a game?" I hear right next to me. I stiffen up, and slowly turn my head to the side. I just realized that perhaps this isn't the best place to be. The face of a little girl with blonde hair, sharp teeth, and glowing red eyes clues me in pretty damn well. "I want to play too!" She declares, holding up a clawed hand and reaching for me.

"Fuck." That's all I can get out before she swings her arm forward, there's an explosion of red, a scream, a sense of flying and then falling, and then utter darkness.

* * *

**And that does it for this chapter. Christ that was a drain. Fun little note, I finished this chapter while listening to a loop of Nyan Cat. I highly suggest that you don't try and imitate that, I can't tell you the number of times I found myself typing nothing but "nyan", sometimes backwards, and having to go back and erase all of that.**

**Also, why does it seem like I do most of my writing in the early morning? I should be sleeping at 4 a.m.! Ah well, drop me a review if you want. Maybe next chapter I'll actually put characters in the filter thing. Or maybe not, no clue. I'm gonna fall asleep now, later!**


	5. Dealing with the (Scarlet) Devil

**It's times like this that I remember why I have friends- to kick my sorry ass into gear and actually put out the next chapter of a story. I have a lot of fun planning stories out, to the point that at last count I have... I think nineteen(?) stories that want to be written. Will they ever?**

**...Yukari. That's all I'm going to say. She's also the reason why _this_ chapter took so long. She wanted to try being a DM for D&D, and she was using Gensoukyou logic for the campaign, and well, yeah. I think I'd rather try to talk to Deadpool for a week straight than go through Yukari's D&D sessions ever again.**

**On the last chapter, going to be honest. Looking back at it, I wasn't really happy with it. Felt too rushed to me. Not going to go back and fix it though, since it works for what it was intended for. I am going to try and avoid making that mistake again though. You all deserve better than that.**

**Ah well, enough bitching from me. Let's get started.**

* * *

An hour later found the entirety of the mansion and myself sitting around a long table in the dining room, not a one of us saying a word. Meiling sat across from me, several bandages on her face and one of her hands wrapped up all the way to her fingertips. Considering that she pulled _knives _from her face earlier with no care or trouble, that just tells me how bad she got hurt now.

Patchouli is asleep in a chair to my right, snoring quietly. I guess she pushed herself a little too far and her sickness (or one of several, I stopped paying attention to Sakuya after she listed the fifth health problem and what it did to the purple mage. Or was it the sixth?) started acting up. Thankfully, she had some medicine on her for it, but it makes her drowsy. I'd feel more sorry for her, but since she sicced her bloody succubus after me...

Wait, do I lose man points for running from a hot chick who wanted to jump my bones? I mean, I think I'm justified in it since she was trying to light me on fire, but still. Best not think about it right now.

Koa herself is standing in a corner at the far end of the room. I'm not quite sure what happened to her, but from what I can understand, she got ripped a new one. I was told she calmed down after I threw that last fairy over my shoulder to take the blow for me. I found out after I woke up that the fairy, who Sakuya is standing nervously next to, wasn't a fairy. It was the mistress of the house, Remilia Scarlet.

Yeah. I used the lady that everyone in this mansion is scared of as a vampire meat-shield. I can tell you right now that she did NOT appreciate that. You'd think she wouldn't mind, what with being a supposedly powerful vampire that, from what I can gather, nobody likes to fuck with. But she took offense to that. And she's not blaming Koakuma for throwing the fireballs, or even Patchouli who gave the order to throw said fireballs. Go figure, nobody blames the gun.

This all leads back to my current situation. I'm currently in a staring contest with Remilia, trying to not let my fear show. Yeah, she looks like a seven year-old girl in a fancy dress with a silly little mop-like hat, but when I got close enough to smell blood coming from said dress, I was wary. And when Meiling had whispered to me (Before getting knifed in the head again for "talking about the mistress behind her back") that the dress was permanently stained red from blood, I decided that perhaps I should be a bit more careful about who I used as a meat-shield. Remilia, on the other hand, looks like she's trying to set me on fire with her glare. The uncomfortable contest is broken by Remilia as she leans forward, resting her elbows on the table and interlacing her fingers in front of her face. After a few more seconds she finally speaks up.

"So let me get this straight. You came here to meet with my head maid to learn how to use a knife."

I nod. "Yes'm."

"You were given a test, by Patchy, to determine if you were worth the effort."

"Yup. Though I was kinda misled about the... goal of the test." The last part of my answer goes ignored for the most part, except for Sakuya, who's eyebrow twitched, and Meiling who barely manages to hold back a laugh.

"You then proceeded to flee from Koakuma," Remilia continues. "And in order to avoid her attacks you threw my workers into the line of fire, quite literally."

I shrug. "Remind me to thank them for that. They were pretty useful at that task, I might have to have them to it again." That answer gets Remilia to scowl more, but she keeps talking anyways.

"You then threw ME into a fireball, ran off without apologizing-"

"Because I had no clue who you were, and my life held more importance at the time." I intterupt.

"-without apologizing and checking to see if I was okay." Remilia says a bit louder. "You then ran into the basement, despite being told by multiple people to NEVER go into the basement." Now it's my eyebrow that's twitching.

"Maybe next time you should put up a sign then. And why is your sister in a basement, of all places? The hell did she do to piss you off?" My answer is a danmaku bullet hitting the table in front of me. I didn't see it coming, but I do manage to avoid panicking or jumping out of my chair. Instead I just move backwards in my chair, pressing myself up against the backrest. And all without breaking eye contact. Cool points: acquired! "Testy, aren't we?" I tease a bit. I quickly shut up when Remilia's eyes start to glow.

"The one thing, however," She snaps as she rises from her chair- literally rises- and floats over to stare me right in the face. "that I **cannot **forgive is that you have Flandre asking-!"

"Ne, ne, onee-sama! I finished cleaning my room! Now will you tell me what 'fuck' means?"

We all turn towards the voice that just spoke up. Blonde hair with it puled into a pigtail on one side, red dress, wings that look like wires with crystals hanging from them. Yup, there stands Remilia's little sister Flandre, an absolutely adorable little girl that is absolutely terrifying to me. Even more than her big sister, every single part of my mind is telling me to stay the hell away. And not even because of that little incident earlier. There's something else.

"Flandre! That's not something you say! That's a bad word, do you understand me?"

I snap back to the situation at hand. Remilia is scolding Flandre for using unlady-like language. Totally my fault, I'll admit, but hell. When you're about to be ended by a vampire loli who thinks that you're playing a game, and that the game involves smiting people, let's see how well you mind your language. Remilia continues on, regardless of my thoughts.

All Flandre does is tilt her head to the side with a confused look. "Eh? But the onii-san there said it first. Why didn't he get told not to use it?"

Oh great, shifting the blame on me. Thanks a lot kid. If she had done it to anyone else but me, I'd probably be applauding how easily she managed to do it. But since it _is_ me she's doing it to, I can only feel frustrated. Still, Remilia's giving me the death glare again. Guess I should at least try and help her out here.

I lean back in my chair, looking at Flandre who's now standing behind me. "That's because of a couple of reasons, kiddo. First, I'm an adult, so I can be a bit more mature with my language. Secondly, I'm a uncivilized peasant, not a high-class person like you or your sister. So I'm a bit more, er... what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Vulgar?" Remilia snips from her chair.

"Crass?" Sakuya offers up from her spot.

"Dirty?" Meiling speaks up, not wanting to be left out. Her contribution earns her a knife to the head, for some reason. Whatever it was, I'm sure she deserved it and I'm not going to question it. Instead I turn back to Flandre.

"Yeah, all of those. But a little girl like you shouldn't be saying those kinds of words, all right?" My question only serves to put a pout on her face. I'm guessing she thinks it's not fair that I can say and do things she can't.

"Tell ya what." I suggest. "While I'm here, I'll try not to say those words myself. But you have to promise not to say any bad words until you're older. Deal?"

The little tyke beams widely at my words. Guess I did the right thing. "Deal!" she agrees, jumping forward and around my chair to hug me. Thankfully, before she can reach me I've already stood up and away from the chair, and Flandre's grasp. The minute she got close to me all the hairs on my neck stood up, and I just felt the need to move away. The little blondie gets a confused look on her face at my sudden movement, one that I try hard to ignore. Instead I focus on Remilia.

"So, I'm reminded for whatever reason you can think of, you wanted to talk to me about something?" I ask the lady of the mansion. Subtle, I am not, but it's not like I'm a swift planner. I'm just running off instinct here. Thankfully Remilia picks up on my intention and stands up as well, ignoring Sakuya's out-stretched hand to aid her.

"Indeed. Sakuya, please take Flan out into the garden while I speak with our guest. Meiling, help Koakuma get Patchy into her bed, and then return to your duties." After both women bow and accept the orders Remilia has given them, Remilia starts walking over to a door at the side of the room. "Mr. Jay. Pray, walk with me for a bit." Without even waiting for me to answer she opens the door and walks out of the room. Well, at least she left the door open for me. I follow after her, rolling my shoulders as I do. For some reason they felt really heavy. Must be from all the stress I've gone through today.

I quickly catch up to Remilia, which isn't that hard to do. She's waiting for me outside a door in the hall, and doesn't move until after I'm right beside her. Once I am, she opens the door and walks on without a word, me following. We keep going like this for awhile, walking through the hallways until we need to go through a door, and then walking again. I don't even bother to try and keep track of the time or even to memorize where we came from. All these halls look the bloody same to me, and I've always been pretty poor at directions and knowing where to go unless I have landmarks to go off of. Kinda hard here in Gensoukyou, but I digress. After a bit more walking, Remilia finally speaks up.

"You're not exactly the swiftest antelope in the herd, are you?"

I blink at her question. "I'm sorry, that's a new one. What did you just say?"

My guide merely rolls her eyes and grumbles. "I said that you weren't very smart. Do you honestly think that you were being subtle in your attempt to avoid my sister? I've seen more subtle attempts from that little ice fairy."

I glance down at the little girl berating me, a bit lost. "What ice fairy? Did you forget that I'm new here?" I sigh, rubbing the back of my head. "Know what, forget I asked. Knowing my luck I'll find out who you're talking about sooner than I'd like. And honestly, I probably _could_ have found a more subtle way of getting out of there if I had had time to think. But she didn't really give me time to. And you really _did_ want to talk to me, remember?"

"Too true," Remilia nods, stopping in front of a door so abruptly that I end up taking another three steps past her before catching myself. She opens the door and steps through it into another short hall with only a single door at the end, ignoring my little mess-up. "Still, now that you've basically snubbed her, my little sister well now start to hound you. Such a child, she is. Once something has caught her fancy she'll not stop pursuing it, until one of two things happens. Either she decides she wants to keep it, or..."

I gulp. I don't really like that 'or' at the end, and I don't think I should find out. But my mouth betrays me. "What?"

She merely smirks as we reach the end of the hall, reaching her hand out to grab the handle of the door in front of us. "Or she grows bored of her toy and... _breaks_ it. She is but a child, after all. And children don't like to keep or take care of things that don't amuse them."

Remilia turns the handle but doesn't open it yet, turning instead to face me as her smirk becomes bigger and her eyes glow a faint red. "So do try and make yourself entertaining, for your sake as much as hers." With that warning my host opens the door and steps through, snapping her fingers as she does. As I step through and the sound of her snap ends, all the candles in the room burst to life, lighting the room quite well. As impressive as that was, however, something else captures my attention.

Weapons. On every single wall, a vast array of blades and clubs and a whole bunch of other things are mounted. The center of the room isn't empty though. Lined up on racks laid out like aisles in a store are even **more** of the deadly tools. Remilia has quite the collection, I have to give her that. I'm no expert, but even I can tell that the weapons here aren't just regular iron and steel. A quick check with my eyes leads to me almost being blinded from trying to see the 'lines' on the deadly assortment before me. All of them are probably enchanted or blessed, maybe even both. Rubbing the spots out of my eyes lets me see Remilia giving me another smirk, as if she knew what I had tried to do. With a frown I try to ignore her smug look, taking a closer look at some of the blades near me. Seeing that I'm not falling for her little game, the little blood-sucker waves her hand, causing the door to shut behind me.

"Breathtaking, is it not?" Remilia asks, strolling over to the wall on my left. She raises a hand to caress a bright silver shield with a blue, v-like design near the bottom. "You'll find, Mr. Jay, that being long-lived brings many things. Power, knowledge, respect, fear. And with those things, you'll also find that it brings you enemies as well. Of course, being a child of the night brings you these things at a much faster pace. But then, humans do so enjoy thinking that anything that is not mortal is a taint on the world. Or to be more specific, they think it a threat to their own self-appointed supremacy. And just like any desperate and delusional fool, they try everything they can to kill said taint. Most fail, of course. Some get lucky."

Remilia steps away from the shield, next stopping in front of a shelf that holds a myriad of vials and jars. She reaches up and grabs a small glass container, a blue fire burning inside. As she stares into it she continues talking to me, going on about a subject I'm not sure I follow.

"That is where the problem starts, you see, especially for us vampires. Killed by sunlight? That is false. The rumor started after a fledgling vampire, succumbing to his wounds, turned to ash just as he stepped back into the sunlight streaming in through a window. Holy water? It does not weaken us. The glass containing the fluid shattered and entered his eyes, and some went down his throat, thus making him easily killed. Because of these accidents and rumors, it was obvious that the church and other 'holy' religions would be seen as our enemies." Remilia scoffs and places the jar back on the shelf, a sneer on her face. "Utter foolishness."

I step closer to her, a bit confused. "So you're saying that all of those weaknesses I've heard about are false? Garlic, stakes made of ash wood, all that jive?"

Remilia frowns, stepping over to the next weapon on the wall. A longsword hangs here, the silver blade shining dully. The hilt, designed to look like two lions' heads, is chipped and worn. She stares at it before she answers.

"Perhaps I misspoke a mite." she amends. "True, these things of normal quality eventually became enough to take care of the newer and weaker vampires. Against a stronger level of vampire, however, they would do little to us. At the most, it would annoy us. It would take something of a much higher level to do us harm. This sword, for example, was forged with silver from a cross in a church, heated by a fire burning wood from what is said to be the same cross their messiah was nailed to and holly, and bathed in holy water blessed by the head of the church himself. However, as you can imagine, the more powerful the weapon the rarer it is. So eventually everybody looks for that 'legendary weapon' that killed a vampire, not realizing that its power wanes over time. It is an inevitable fact, just as it is true that vampires only get stronger with age. In the end you have a weapon that is far weaker than it once was against the might of a vampire that has lived long enough to become one of the strongest beings in the world. And of course, these _are_ humans we're talking about. A sword of holy magic at the peak of it's power is no better than a broken spade in the hands of a stable-boy, wouldn't you agree? And of course, that's only the physical part of the problem. Pray, can you tell me what the other side of it is?"

I close my eyes, trying to figure out what she's telling me. I think I understand what this room is for now, and why she brought me here. I'd probably call her arrogant, but I can't. If what she's implying is true, her having all these weapons is simply an obvious conclusion to a bad situation. I step past her to go look at a weapon near the corner, a pump action shotgun with the pump handle replaced by a long horizontal piece sticking out about six inches on each end and making the whole thing look like a cross. Props to whoever made this, they clearly wanted the holy part backed up by some good ol' fashioned heavy firepower. If my hunch is right though, it didn't do the poor guy much good. Finally deciding on my answer I turn around to my host, who's watching me with a small smile, a finger up to her lips.

"Human nature." I state, looking slowly over the room and the weapons- no, _trophies _that it holds. "I'm guessing some of the idiots who came to pick a fight with you were hoping for glory or some such thing, and it... I dunno, weakened the weapon? And they certainly can't have been the first, right? I mean, you see stories like that all the time. A virtuous hero, surrounded by adoring fans and having glory and praise showered on him becomes corrupt or too proud. Eventually, it gets to the point that it all goes bad, and his arrogance gets him killed. Someone finds the weapon, is told what it is, and this time we have a not-so virtuous man taking it up to repeat the cycle."

I look back at Remilia who seems to be looking at me with a bit of happiness and pride. Guess my hunch was right. All the weapons here are from poor dumb shmuck who thought himself better than he was and ended up getting offed. And judging by the number of her trophies here, nobody seemed to get the hint of 'Don't fuck with the Scarlet Devil'. Dumbasses should have paid attention the first time, or at least after the tenth. A funny thought occurs to me, and I grin at the little vampire.

"How many of the dumb shits thought you'd be an easy hit because you look like a kid?" Remilia chuckles darkly.

"Honestly, I stopped keeping count. A few didn't, but at least half of _those_ were so caught up in their own delusions of their own power or that of their weapon that I oftentimes wonder if I shouldn't count them in the same vein." She chuckles again, her eyes shining. "Now that I think about it, I do recall a young man asking the exact same question you did, word for word. I think he was... number thirty-five? Couldn't have been the fortieth, though after awhile they all start to blend together. I do think he was one of the ones that lasted the longest, though, so I suppose I should ask Patchy if she remembers. Young man should be remembered, even if he did fail. The only reason he died when he did was because our battle took us to the library, and he accidentally destroyed the tome she was reading. And they call _me_ violent."

So, note to self: Patchouli is someone to **not** tick off. I shake my head and try to get the conversation back on topic. "So, why are you telling me all of this? What's the point? I mean," I sweep my arm to the side, gesturing to all the weapons in the room. "I get that this is basically a trophy room that is your subtle way of telling me not to fuck with you, but still. That _can't_ be it, right?"

Remilia merely smirks again, walking over to the wall opposite of the one with all the stuff she had been looking at before. Curious, and a little miffed that she ignored my question, I follow after her. I stand right behind her, noticing her gave on one particular item. Of course, when I see it, my eyes bug out and my jaw drops.

Unlike the rest of the items here, which are hanging out on hooks or placed on shelves, this one is hanging inside a small wooden case, the entire front of said case being glass so that one could look in. Now normally you'd expect such a thing would hold something fancy, or at the least bit valuable. Here, not so much. It's just a long cord of leather coiled up, one end rather thin, and the other is think so it acts like a grip. And on that grip is written two words 'Vampire Killer'. I turn my head to the small vampire next to me, simultaneously bringing up an arm to point at the object. Remilia simply smiles mockingly, waiting for my words. It takes me awhile, but I finally say them.

"You mean to tell me you beat a _Belmont_? Wait, before that, they actually _existed_? Just how fucking powerful are you? !" My questions earn me a round of laughter from the little blood-sucker. Not even mocking laughter, or anything like that. Pure, joyful laughter pours out of Remilia's mouth, and I notice that she's even having trouble standing because she's laughing so hard. I know that I should probably consider this a good thing, getting her to laugh like this, it shows that I'm actually getting her to like me. But I'm far too distracted that she **beat a bloody Belmont**. Finally she gets a hold of herself, wiping away the tears in her eyes as she chuckles a few more times. "You done?" I ask, a bit irritated at her fit.

"My apologies for that. It's just so nice to see that somebody can appreciate my power at such a level. To think that you are actually familiar with the Belmont family, and just how great they are. And so that helps you understand just how much greater _I _am." Ignoring my urge to tell her just how many people in my world are 'familiar' with the Belmont name, I let her continue. "Ah, but you asked me a question, didn't you? Yes, I did defeat a Belmont. The last of them, to be precise. It was a long struggle, I assure you, and more than once I thought that I might lose. But eventually, fate decided me the victor. Since then I have had no other hunter challenge me for my head."

Well, yeah, if you beat a Belmont than _nobody_ is going to fuck with you. Still, hat's off to Remilia for this win. And to the hunter who did well enough that Remilia gave praise to him. Little lady is mighty prideful, so for her to admit having difficulty putting him down is definitely something major. "Did you at least let his family know about how well he did before he failed?" I ask, putting my hand against the wall as I lean towards the whip to get a closer look.

"Hm?" Remilia responds, looking at me a bit confusedly. "'Before he-'?" All of a sudden she starts laughing again, prompting me to pull away from whip and level a glare at her.

"I really don't think it was that funny of a question." I mutter, a bit insulted. Thankfully, her little fit doesn't last as long this time.

"No, no, it's not that." Remilia assures me, waving her hand as if to assuage my anger. "It's just- *ahem!* I didn't kill the poor dear. I let them go, keeping the whip as a reminder of that battle. Ah, memories..."

I give Remilia a neutral look. "Something about what you said doesn't seem all that believable." I tell her flatly. I don't think that she'd let someone that powerful go, especially if they almost won several times, if Remilia's words are true. Considering that she admitted her near defeat shortly after bragging about how powerful she is, I'm inclined to take her word for it. I give a mental sigh, and decide to drop the issue. Remilia merely gives a small chuckle and responds to my previous statement, unknowing and uncaring of my thoughts.

"Oh, I have my pride, Mr. Jay. My pride has led to where I'm at, and judges my actions. It aids me in deciding what I do with my life, and what I do with the lives of those who challenge me. It is the only way that those who lose me to may experience mercy from me. The weaklings die shamefully, cowering and broken before me, or arrogant and indignant about their defeat. That is not the way a warrior should meet his end. No, they should die with pride in how they did, and acceptance of the results of the fight. In order to beat a vampire, or indeed _any_ opponent, you must accept that you yourself may die. Go in with the desire to win, but with the knowledge and acceptance that death may take _you_ to it's side. The dear child did just that, and the only request made of me was that I make sure they got a proper burial. Of course, I couldn't just _kill_ such a promising human, one so full of potential. Hence the reason for my mercy. And of course," Here Remilia turns to face me fully, her eyes glowing a dull red again. I don't know if it's just be, but it looks like the lights aren't as bright. I don't know if it's her doing or not, but either way if she's doing this for intimidation _it's working_. I try as hard as I can not to let it show on my face though. Thankfully my jeans are baggy enough that you can't see my knees shaking a little. "My pride is the entire reason I showed you this room."

I barely manage to swallow, trying my damndest to look her in the eye and answer her levelly. "Y-yeah? How does that work?" I ask. Yay, I only stuttered once, she'll _never_ find out that she's making me anxious.

...Ok, even if this is a serious situation, I still think I could have put that in a better way, internal sarcasm or not. Still, it actually helps calm me down and get my nerves (and knees) under control. Remilia ignores my new-found courage and just walks up to me, never once breaking eye contact. She keeps walking until she's about a foot away, at which point she starts flapping her wings to level herself up so that our faces are at equal level. She then closes the gap to about six inches before she starts talking again, her voice soft but clear.

"When the strong stand on top or even anywhere _near_, everything they do and say spreads and carries weight and consequences to their reputation. For those that have servants and soldiers this extends to them as well, meaning that whatever they do reflects onto us. Sakuya is my most loyal servant, and has a rather significant reputation of her own. Thus, her teaching you and how well you do so in her training along with all the things you'll do afterward shall eventually come back to me. With that said, I will allow you to train under her so long as you swear to do nothing that shall tarnish my name. Do we have an agreement, Mr. Jay?

I suppress the urge to wipe my brow in relief. That'd be admitting weakness and at this point I think it could actually hurt me. Just a feeling, is all. "Well, I seriously doubt I'll be doing anything that hefty or, well, _public_ that'll do anything to insult you. But still, yeah. I'm cool with your conditions. I hold out my hand to shake, an action she meets to seal our deal.

"Excellent." she states, releasing my hand and floating away and back down onto the floor. "Than I shall have Sakuya stop by in the human village for the next week, starting tomo-"

"Whoa whoa whoa!" I interrupt, getting a scowl from Remilia. I ignore it. "One week? She's going to teach me how to use a knife in one week? The hell does that work? !"

Remilia's scowl deepens, but she still answers in a polite, no-nonsense tone. "Don't be ridiculous. She has plenty of duties here to do, and stepping out to make the trip to the village to teach a no-name human how to use a knife for someone who's not even going to serve me is already pushing your luck. She's not teaching you how to fight, that is the job of that mutt on the mountain. Sakuya will teach you enough so that you at least won't fall on your own blade. But if you want to learn fully from Sakuya, you'd either have to walk here everyday for months and _hope_ that she's not busy doing something for me. That means you run the risk of dealing with my little sister, something you've already displayed displeasure in. Or if you want you can live here while learning, so long as you make yourself useful in tasks that any of the manor's inhabitants may need. It carries the same risk of dealing with my sister, but at least you'll know when Sakuya is free for training. No? Well then, everyday for a week in the human village it is. Now-"

"My lady." A voice speaks up from my right, scaring the bejeezus out of me and getting Remilia to turn her head slightly in the direction of the new speaker. Sakuya ignores my reaction and simply bows to her mistress. "Reimu is outside the front door to take our guest back. She asks that we hurry up and bring our guest out before she decides to, and I quote, 'let myself in and get the suicidal idiot out, I've got better things to do'.

Remilia chuckles, only this time it sounds rather weak. "Ah, Reimu. Subtle as a brick she is. Mr. Jay, where are your accommodations?"

"Er," I start, a little confused at the vampires reaction to Reimu and at why the miko is even here for me in the first place. Did she come all the way here for little old me? I'm flattered, really. Surprised, but flattered. "I'm staying with Akyuu. Do you know who she is?" My question is mostly ignored by the two ladies, but I think I'm starting to get used to it. Sob.

"Well then Sakuya, as I'm sure you've heard, you will be teaching Jay how to use a knife to at least a level where he wouldn't be better off with just throwing a rock." Remilia informs Sakuya. "You have one week to do so, after all your previous chores here are done. Try to spend at least two hours a day teaching him, I think he'd appreciate it."

...Well fuck you too, sunshine.

While I'm doing my internal grumblings, Sakuya merely bows once more to Remilia before walking over to me. "Please don't move, Jay. It'll make this easier for me." she tells me. Naturally, I'm a bit confused, but before I can say anything she grabs onto my shoulder. The girl's hands are small and thin, but damn does she have a grip. And she's cold too, I can feel it through my shirt and... wait, how did we get to the front door? The hell did I miss? Sakuya just walks to the door ignoring me having my panic attack.

"Time stop." she answers my unasked question. "I do believe Meiling told you before that I can control time? In any case I'll arrive after lunch time tomorrow. We'll start by finding a blade that suits you. Do you have any questions?"

I scratch my head. It's not really about her coming to teach me, but still I feel the need to ask. "Yeah, were you here when Remilia beat that Belmont?" My inquiry makes Sakuya stop for a brief second before she continues leading me to the door.

"I was. Why do you ask?" Her tone is flat, and I almost rethink asking my next question. Eh, screw it. I want to know, and if Sakuya is Remilia's most trusted servant and was here for that fight, then maybe she'll be able to answer.

"Well, it's just that Remilia said she let the dude go." I roll my shoulders, once more feeling that odd weight on them. "I was just wondering where that guy went to. Thought you might know where he is, or at least what's she's doing right now."

As I finish giving my reason Sakuya opens one of the doors for me. As I step out I see that Reimu is standing on the walkway, tapping a foot impatiently. And for some reason Meiling is laying smoking in a shallow crater. Part of me thinks that I should be shocked, but another part of me is just saying that this might just be the norm. As I step outside Sakuya slowly shuts the door behind me. But before I can go any further I hear Sakuya speak up from behind me in a soft, almost content voice.

"She gladly and willingly serves her lady."

The door shuts with a dull thud behind me, but I barely notice. What Sakuya said... could it be? I mean, really, what are the odds? But still-

"Oi!" Reimu shouts at me in irritation, drawing me out of my thoughts. "Can we get going? You got what you needed, right? So let's go, this is interrupting my work!"

"Yeah. Yeah I got what I need." I answer somewhat dully. As we head out my thoughts drift back to my new teacher. If what she said is true, my training just got a whole lot more interesting.

* * *

Remilia stared down at the door from the balcony in the main hall as Sakuya gave some parting words to her departing guest. Such a strange human he was, and quite interesting. Rightfully intimidated by her, and able to sense at some instinctual level at just how dangerous her little sister was. Most humans didn't learn that lesson until Sakuya was mopping up whatever smears were left of them. And those eyes of his... truly fascinating. And through those eyes he held somewhat of a connection to both of the Scarlet Sisters, even if it was just for the powers each of them had.

So interesting. And so frustrating, that she could not bind him to her whim.

Curse that Yama! This power could have been so useful to Remilia, and that blasted, useless judge had seen fit to keep him safe from her! Even now the Scarlet Devil watched as her lovely red chains hissed and smoked on the ground from when that human had unknowingly shrugged them off. But no matter. If he learned from from Sakuya, a bond could be formed the old-fashioned way. And she would use that to get some amount of control from Jay. His power fit in so well with the family. Why _wouldn't_ she want it to be used to serve her house? And if he could not be swayed, or became too dangerous?

Well, she had already gone out several times before to solve a problem. What was one more?

* * *

From her perch up on Youkai Mountain Momiji finally closed her eyes, giving them a much needed break. Her eyesight and hearing were above and beyond any others, but even she would feel the strain from focusing her eyes and hears on one point for so long. After resting her eyes for a few seconds she shifted the sword and shield laying across her back to get it into a more comfortable position before finally turned to head back into her home, bending down to grab the paper wrapped bundle she had set down earlier with barely a break in her stride. As she entered the building she tossed the package onto her table before turning right back outside. "I wasn't expecting visitors today." she muttered to herself, turning to look over her shoulder back at the door.

Where before there was nobody there, there now stood a tall woman, her red hair down up in pigtails. The visitor wore a white vest with a blue overtop, held together by an obi belt with a large coin tied and positioned in the middle. The thing that drew the eyes of most of the people that laid eyes on her, however, was the large scythe that she carried. The blade shined brightly in the fading light, letting one see the strange wave-like bending at the end. The strange woman had the shaft of the weapon resting on her shoulders, lightly resting her wrists on it while she gave the wolf tengu in front of her a careless grin.

"Eh, don't worry about me. Just your friendly neighborhood shinigami ferrywoman dropping by for a quick visit!" The woman said in a cheerful voice. Momiji's eyes narrowed slightly. She knew this person, if only by name. Komachi Onozuka, the shinigami who ferried souls across the Sanzu River where upon arrival they would be taken to receive judgment from the Yama. In other words, the same person that held that that human's life in her hands.

Momiji decided that she should at least be polite, if only because the shinigami was at least a likeable person, despite the nature of her job. "And what, exactly, are you visiting for?" She asked. "As you can probably guess, the living place of soldiers is not full of things one would normally find exciting. Unless you're here for... another reason?"

Komachi looked away with a sheepish grin and gave a nervous chuckle. "Never was good at hiding things. Always was too honest for my own good." she admitted. When she looked back at Momiji, her grin was still in place. Only now it looked a bit intimidating.

"Shiki-chan wants to know exactly what you were thinking, sending my new co-worker into that nest of vipers." Despite the grin on her face Komachi's voice had as much warmth as an icicle. "If I recall correctly, he came to _you_ for training. And we don't have a problem with that. You're a pretty nice girl, and Shiki-chan is willing to trust you with the boya's safety. At least until you sent him to meet that little brat and her dog. So what's the deal?"

Momiji stared at the shinigami with a neutral expression, one that Komachi met with her own predatory grin. For a minute they continued their stare off until Momiji turned back to face in front of her, giving a soft chuckle. "So even Yama-sama was unable to see my intentions? Well, she is a busy woman so I can't blame her for not taking a closer look. But still, I expected her to understand my test."

Komachi's grin became more amused, losing the threatening smile she had before. "Test, eh? And what exactly was this test?" she asked, genuinely curious. Momiji turned so that her left side faced the red-head, her face tilted down to the ground with her eyes closed and a smirk on her face.

"The Scarlet Devil is rather proud." She started, receiving a snort from her guest at the rather obvious fact. "At times she let's it get to her head and it blinds her to see any value in anybody else. Add that on to her temper, and she's not exactly pleasant company."

"Tch, things that anyone with a brain would know." Komachi stated, raising a hand to wave dismissively at Momiji's words. "The point?"

"Hmph. Simple, of course. My training is going to be hard, and Jay will certainly face a lot of uphill battles. But I needed to know if he'll be worth it. So I sent him to the devil's maid. Of course the little vampire would have stepped in to make her own assessment. She'd never lend aid to someone who she thought wasn't worth risking her reputation. And judging by Jay's words as he left, she has agreed to let Sakuya train him. A week is certainly more than I was expecting for him, but considering I was thinking he'd just be handed a weapon and then tossed on his ear, it certainly speaks volumes about his potential." She allowed another chuckle to pass her lips. "It seems that I'll be quite busy in a week. I'll have to find out which of the others in the guard will be helpful in training him. Oh, this'll be fun!"

Komachi raised a hand from her scythe, as if she were a child in a classroom. "Yeah, about that, I got a question." she stated. "I know for a fact that at least one of your soldiers knows how to use a knife, and several others could teach him how to use a light sword or something. Certainly would be a lot better combat-wise. So, why all the round-about?"

Momiji finally lifted her head and eyelids, looking the shinigami in the eye. "Did you forget? You just needed Jay to find someone to train him. And he found someone. Just remember." She warned, her mouth stretching into a grin, flashing her canines at her guest.

"The Yama may control his life and part of his loyalty, but she threw him to the wolves. And we'll raise him as we see fit."


End file.
